


Out of the Shadows

by rockfantasyfan



Category: Music RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 06:33:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 36,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13698861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rockfantasyfan/pseuds/rockfantasyfan
Summary: Entrepreneur Bruce Dickinson managed to push his bisexual tendencies to the back of his mind until he chances to see a dancer at a gay strip club that he can't get out of his mind





	Out of the Shadows

**Author's Note:**

> A work of AU fiction inspired by my love and admiration for Iron Maiden and the closeness of Bruce Dickinson ands Janick Gers

Bruce pulled the knit watch cap lower over his ears and lowered his head as he hurried from the taxi to the club entrance. He knew it was unlikely he would be recognized but he was still conscious of how inappropriate it was for himself, a successful business owner, to be seen going into a place like Rod's. True, it was an upscale club, low key and elegant in appearance, blending in with the many other night clubs in the area, but that didn't change what kind of club it actually was. A male strip club. A gay male strip club. He didn't visit the club often, especially recently. The small aviation company he started several years earlier had grown into quite a lucrative venture and it usually kept him too busy to make the time for such indulgences. But every so often he felt the pull of it, the inexplicable that had ultimately cost him his marriage several years ago. At the time he had been fresh out of college and just obtained his first pilot's license, and he had been schooled by society be believe the next step in life was marriage and a family. He'd had more than a passing interest in other men since he was in his early teens but thought he had successfully quelled it, pushed it aside to a back corner of his consciousness where it could be ignored. After all, he liked women, there was no question about that. Surely the attraction he sometimes also felt for men was merely natural curiosity. But the longings hadn't been as easy to push aside as he had hoped. When another pilot had made his interest in Bruce known, the old feelings had resurfaced. Bruce experimented, Joyce found out, and the marriage was now a distant memory. By aggressively throwing himself into his burgeoning company, Bruce had successfully managed to avoid involvement with anyone of either gender aside from a few one night stands. But when he allowed himself to think about it, he faced the fact he was lonely. Clubs like Rod's made him feel less alone, and even though he didn't know the other patrons he felt they were all akin in some way, all successful men who discreetly appreciated an attractive male body. It had been several months since his last visit but Bruce was relieved to see that little had changed. It was still subtly lit inside and there were small, softly lit stage areas on three of the walls, the fourth holding the bar. The music was different for each stage, low enough that one didn't overpower another, and Bruce found a small table near the center where he could see all three performers. After ordering a drink he glanced around. The club was full but club etiquette forbade patrons from loud or boisterous behavior so when his drink arrived Bruce sat back and began to relax. He hadn't realized how much the stresses of running his small company had been wearing on him and he was glad he treated himself to this night out. 

Glancing at the stage to his right, Bruce saw a muscular man in a g-string gyrating slowly to the beat. He was unimpressed, the man was too model perfect with his cropped hair and steroid-enhanced body. The second stage had a young Asian man who looked to be scarcely out of his teens, slender and effeminate looking. Not Bruce's type at all. Bruce turned to the third stage, the one to his right, and sat up straighter for a better view. Rather than a scantily clad young stud, this stage held a slender man in tight white jeans and a black sleeveless top with wavy honey-blonde hair cascading over his pale shoulders as he danced. This man didn't gyrate, he didn't play up to the audience or even seen to acknowledge them at all. He simply held the pole with one hand and swayed his hips, his perfectly molded ass moving rhythmically to the softly pulsating beat. His eyes were closed, he looked as though he were in a dreamlike state, his head tilted back and a faint smile on his thin lips. Bruce couldn't tear his eyes away. In front of each stage was a small golden box shaped like a treasure chest where patrons could put their tips, and the name on this dancer's read Jan. Each performer chose their own music but unlike the techno or electronic music most dancers played, Jan played rock and heavy metal. The next song had a harder, more driving beat and without pausing or even opening his eyes, Jan's moves changed to adapt, he danced around the pole, holding it with both hands now, occasionally snapping his hips in time with the music. Bruce felt every snap, every move, like a miniature shock through his system and he found himself for the first time undeniably aroused simply from watching a dancer. Usually he only came to these clubs to relax and watch, it was never his intention to hook up and in fact this was frowned upon at Rod's. But for the first time Bruce found himself wishing that this actually one of the seedier clubs where one could pay extra for a private lap dance or perhaps even some more intimate attention from a performer. Though he hadn't removed a stitch of clothing, Jan was by far the most sensual dancer in the club and two hours later when he picked up his tip box and vanished through the small curtained door behind the stage, Bruce was glad he had placed a sizeable gratuity in the box. He knew he would be back, as soon as he could. As he left the club he asked the attendant when the dancer on stage three would be working again.  
"Oh, Jan?" he pronounced it 'Yan'. "He only works weekends, every Friday and Saturday night."  
Bruce thanked the man and knew he would return the following Friday night. On the taxi ride home Bruce couldn't stop speculating about the man Jan. An unusual name for an unusual man, he had been more like a fairy tale creature than an actual man and Bruce could almost convince himself he had imagined him, conjuring up a figure from a fantasy he didn't even know he had.

Bruce's company operated four medium sized cargo aircraft flying throughout central England and to obtain the capital to start the business Bruce had to get the backing from an investor, Stephen Harris, an entertainment mogul who dabbled in several different investments. What Bruce hadn't realized at the time was that Mr. Harris would insist upon having an active role in the operations and frequently checked up on Bruce to go over his books and his flight logs. It was unavoidable, but nevertheless Bruce resented not having free reign to run the company as he saw fit. Several months earlier Mr. Harris, or ol' Harry as Bruce privately referred to him even though he was roughly the same age as Bruce, had recommended Bruce hire a general manager to assist with the daily operations so Bruce had been screening applicants for the position. On Monday morning he had yet another interview to conduct and he dreaded it. He didn't feel he needed help, he had his two pilots and even though he sometimes took flights himself he felt he could handle the workload. However, he knew that Harry's "recommendations" were veiled orders and that there was a very real possibility of him pulling his funding if he felt Bruce was blatantly ignoring his advice. Sitting in his small office off the hangar, Bruce heard the door to the outer room close and he knew the applicant had arrived. Taking a deep breath, he went out to meet the man. Expecting a stodgy accountant type, Bruce was surprised to find a pair of brilliant blue eyes look up at him as he came out, followed with an apple-cheeked smile. "Mr. Murray?" Bruce extended his hand. The other man shook it. "Call me Dave, please." Bruce invited him in to the office and less than an hour later he knew he had found his assistant. Dave Murray's jovial exterior belied his sharp mind, he had the qualifications and, more importantly for Bruce, he had a personality Bruce felt he could work with. He was hired on the spot. The following day he called a company meeting to introduce Dave to his pilots Adrian and Nicko, both old friends of his from his first job as a pilot. Both also knew of Bruce's failed marriage and had their suspicions about what was behind it since, at the same time of the divorce another pilot, a known gay man named Ian, unexpectedly left the airline they all worked for at the time. Bruce was grateful that this hadn't damaged his friendship with the other two pilots. Much to his relief, Dave seemed to hit it off right away with the pilots and he was confident they could all work well together. 

The remainder of the week was spent working Dave into the company's routine, but each night when he returned to his flat Bruce's thoughts invariably drifted to the slim dancer with the long wavy hair and dreamy expression. As Friday grew closer Bruce's anticipation grew and when the actual night arrived he found himself at the club early. Three unknown dancers were performing, none of whom interested Bruce, and he started to feel a little foolish for being so excited over the prospect of watching a male stripper who didn't even strip. By the time Jan did take the stage Bruce had several drinks in him and was seriously considering going home. Those thoughts instantly disappeared, though, when Jan quietly took the stage. Still not acknowledging the audience, he put his tip box down, activated the switch to turn on his chosen music, closed his eyes and began to sway, the faraway look gradually taking over his features. Bruce had a closer table this time and took a more careful look at the man, noting his strong, squared chin and almost translucent complexion. He was so fair he was almost certainly blue-eyed though Bruce hadn't been able to tell, and when he raised his arms to grasp the pole Bruce could see he had very little body hair. Jan wore skin tight black jeans with a red sleeveless tee this time and, once again, he never removed a single article of clothing throughout the performance. It was obvious he had his regulars, Bruce noticed a few men coming in and going straight to tables near Jan, not giving the other dancers a glance. By the end of the evening Bruce had to admit to himself he was smitten, he had been held spellbound for over two hours watching every move Jan made, hoping against hope that the next song would have the driving beat that encouraged Jan to snap his hips and tilt his head back so that glorious hair cascaded down his back even though it was a little embarrassing to realize he had a raging erection from merely sitting there. Before Jan left the stage Bruce slipped an even larger tip than before in the box. That night Bruce's dreams were haunted by the long slim legs and perfectly rounded ass of the dancer; in the morning he was even more embarrassed to discover that at least one had been a wet dream.

Once or twice a month Bruce had to sit through a meeting with Steve Harris and go through the company's losses and profits in minute detail. Monday morning Harry was already at the hangar when Bruce arrived, sitting outside in his custom Mercedes impatiently tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. Bruce sighed, pasted a smile on his face, and greeted the man as he got out of his car. It wasn't that he was an unpleasant person, it was just that Bruce resented someone who he felt had no inkling how an airline company worked wanting to be involved in every aspect of the business. Bruce was a headstrong, independent person by nature and even though Harris was never obvious about it, they were both fully aware that the business would go bankrupt without the financial backing he provided.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce couldn't help but respect Harry, a working class Cockney kid who had worked his way up to become the owner of concert venues and recording studios across the U.K. But whereas he wouldn't presume to know anything about Harry's business, Harry saw fit to insinuate himself into Bruce's. Respect him as he may, Bruce couldn't bring himself to like the man.  
"Dickinson! Are you paying attention?" Harry's voice brought Bruce from his daydreams to focus on the computer printouts spread across his desk. Bruce passed his hand across his face and attempted to pay attention. He hadn't slept well, half formed visions of a slender honey-haired dancer had haunted his dreams and he was already looking forward to the next weekend when he would visit Rod's again.  
"I was saying I think it's time we brought the company more into public view," Harris was saying. "The University is looking for guest lecturers for their business administration department. You would be perfect for something like that."  
"Me!?" Bruce's attention snapped to the present. "I'm not a lecturer. I don't even have a degree myself."  
"Doesn't matter," Harris was dismissive of that. "You're an entrepreneur, you're exactly what they're looking for. I'm going to look into it."  
Bruce shook his head, "I don't want to do anything like that, Harris. Find someone else."  
"It will be good publicity for the company, there will be articles in the papers about the guest lecturers. I think you should seriously consider it."  
Bruce bit back a sharp retort. He knew that tone of voice, Harry would not take no for an answer. The idea of speaking in front of a group of business students couldn't be less appealing but he also knew the insurance payments on the planes were due. He needed Harry's money. He sighed.  
""Let me know the details when you have them."  
Harris nodded, tucking a tendril of hair that had escaped from his long ponytail behind his ear, going on to talk about advertising ideas he wanted to look into, but Bruce zoned out. Inwardly he was seething. How he hated being under Harry's thumb! Later in the morning after Harris left Dave, the new operations manager, tentatively knocked on the door of Bruce's office and peeked in.  
"Do you have a minute? I need your signature on these invoices."  
Bruce had been sitting at his desk but staring into space, he looked up at Dave.  
"Sure, come in. Did you meet our generous benefactor this morning?" Bruce couldn't keep the sarcasm out of his voice.  
Dave chuckled. "Steve Harris? Yeah, he came around and introduced himself." Dave had been given a desk in a partially walled off area in the hangar to use as an office area. "Seems a decent enough bloke."  
"He's a fucking tyrant!" Bruce muttered, then at Dave's somewhat shocked look he amended that. "No, I shouldn't have said that. He is a decent guy, he does sometimes have some good publicity ideas for the company. But I wish he would just keep his nose out of the business side of things!" Bruce had already become comfortable enough around Dave to relax his natural guard.  
Dave knew enough to not comment on that but he was already demonstrating an unexpected talent of diverting Bruce's frustrations into more productive channels and the two of them were soon immersed in discussing the rest of the weeks delivery schedules. The stress of dealing with Harris, however, made Bruce wish the dancer Jan worked more than just weekends. He would dearly have loved to go to the club that night and lose himself in fantasies as he watched the man's hypnotic movements.  
On Thursday Bruce got a call from Harris's secretary outlining his upcoming lecture at the University. He had two weeks to prepare for it and while he wasn't the least bit intimidated by the prospect of public speaking, he still dreaded it. He felt it was ridiculous for him to outline how he had founded his company when it was still struggling beneath a mountain of debt and had yet to turn any real profit, and he was convinced that any benefits of getting the name Dickinson Air Freight in the public eye wouldn't be worth the afternoon's work he would have to take time away from. Friday night's visit to Rod's couldn't come soon enough after the week he had.  
Friday found Bruce distracted all day. Caught daydreaming while Adrian was going over his plane maintenance records with him, his friend tapped him sharply on the shoulder.  
"Hey, you're a million miles away, mate! What's going on with you lately, anyway?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"Oh come on, I've been catching you staring off into space all week with a weird little smile on your face. So who is she?"  
"Who is who?"  
"It has to be a bird." Then Ade paused. "Or someone."  
It was as close as he had ever come to coming out and saying he knew Bruce was interested men too, and Bruce felt himself flush. "Nothing like that, I'm just steamed over Harry forcing me into this lecture bullshit."  
Ade nodded "Ahh, I see." and Bruce was relieved that he seemed to accept that explanation. As good a friend as Ade was, Bruce wasn't comfortable discussing what he felt was a silly infatuation with a stripper.  
Although he owned a car, he always took a taxi to the club rather than risk anyone seeing his car there. As accepting as society had become of gay and bisexual persons, Bruce himself preferred to be discreet, rightly feeling it was no one's business what he did for entertainment.. Much to his consternation, though, Bruce found he was actually nervous as he rode to the club that night. It was absurd, he knew. The dancer Jan was completely unaware of his existence, he knew. In fact, Jan seemed oblivious of anyone in the audience, he appeared to be caught up in his own world on the stage, lost in the music he chose to dance to. Bruce was starting to recognize Jan's regulars, men at the tables around him by Jan's stage, waiting for the dancer to appear. When 9:00 came, however, a strange man came through the door behind the stage with a tip box. A murmur of displeasure rose from a few of the tables. This dancer couldn't be less like Jan, this was a muscular, body-builder type nearing middle age with a shaved head and tattoos. A man at the next table beckoned to a server and Bruce perked his ears, hearing the man ask about Jan. He caught a few words of the server's reply, something about family, and north. The server assured the man that Jan would be back the following week.

Bruce cursed under his breath, a little surprised at the depth of disappointment he felt. The new dancer didn't interest him at all, and glancing at the other two stages Bruce found nothing that appealed to him at either. He finished his drink and left the club. Outside, he stood at the curb waiting to hail a passing taxi, reflecting on how long the next week was going to feel. In some strange way, seeing Jan dance had become very important to him. It was at times like these, standing on a busy sidewalk in a light rain, that made Bruce feel terribly alone and empty inside. A man passed him on the sidewalk and looked back at him with interest. Bruce recognized him as another of Jan's regulars who had left the club in disappointment upon finding the dancer wasn't working that evening. For a quick moment Bruce entertained the idea of flirting with the man, but just then a taxi pulled up and Bruce took the opportunity to grab it before someone else did. It was just as well, he reflected. It would only be a one night stand and in the end it would leave him feeling lonelier than before.

A few days later Nicko, his most experienced pilot, came down with the flu and Bruce had to cover his flights. He was glad of the extra work, it meant he would have to stay late to catch up on the paperwork and delay his return to his empty flat. Nicko was still ill on Friday and Bruce's last flight returned late, he wasn't able to get to the club until after Jan's set began. Walking in and seeing the familiar slim form swaying sensuously to the heavy beat Bruce felt the tension leave his body. For the first time since he began coming to the club regularly he was able to get a table close to the stage and could watch every nuance of the performance. He had been right about Jan's eyes, he saw they were grey-blue in color, and his hair was lighter than it looked from further away, having golden highlights. There was nothing overtly sexual about Jan's dancing, it was more of a rhythmic extension of the music, but it was the sexiest thing Bruce had ever imagined and from as close as he sat he could see the light sheen of perspiration on the ivory skin on the man's arms and shoulders. When a fast song started Jan snapped his hips and spun around the pole, tilting his head, eyes closed and a faint smile on his thin lips. Bruce found him the most beautiful person he had ever seen, male or female. When it came time for him to leave the stage Jan came to the edge to gather his tip cask and at that moment Bruce reached forward to drop his tip money in. Jan's eyes flickered up, catching Bruce's gaze for a brief second, then he grabbed the box and left the stage, leaving Bruce strangely breathless from just that momentary eye contact.

The following Tuesday Bruce grudgingly drove to the University campus to deliver his lecture on entrepreneurism. He was familiar with the school, he had taken mathematic courses here a few years before in preparation for his pilots exam, and found the business building without difficulty. He was fully prepared for his lecture, after all he only had to recount how he had started his own company, but he would be glad when it was over and he was resolved to not let Harry talk him into anything like this again. The lecture was held in a small auditorium, any student taking any business course was welcome to attend and there were perhaps seventy students present. Bruce gave the room a cursory glance and began to talk, speaking for forty minutes. The organizers had briefed him beforehand, telling him it was customary to have a question and answer session after he was finished, and rather than require everyone to stay for that Bruce simply told the students with questions to remain behind and dismissed everyone else. Watching most of the students get up and leave, Bruce caught a glimpse of honey brown hair near the rear of the hall. His breath caught, but he told himself he was imagining things, his obsession with the dancer called Jan was causing him to see things. After all, why would a male stripper be at a business lecture? As the students filtered out, however, Bruce saw a slim figure rise and come forward, apparently with a question for Bruce. There was no mistake, it was unquestionably Jan. Bruce would have guessed him to be slightly older than the average university student but he obviously was one, he carried a spiral notebook he had been taking notes on and he wore a backpack slung over his shoulder. He was dressed plainly here, of course, wearing ordinary camouflage pants and a khaki jacket rather than the skinny jeans he danced in, but Bruce still found him breathtakingly attractive. Several students were before him and Bruce answered their questions as best he could, they were genuinely interested in one day owning their own business and he felt obligated to offer any advice he could, but his thoughts kept straying and his eyes kept drifting to the man he had been unable to get out of his mind for the past several weeks. When he finally approached Bruce, everyone else in the room faded into the background.  
"Jan," Bruce muttered, unaware that he'd said it aloud.  
The young man looked puzzled. "I'm sorry, have we met?" His voice was soft, with a northern lilt to it.  
Bruce mentally shook himself. "No, not really, but I know who you are. I guess you could say I'm a bit of a fan of yours."  
Jan still looked uncertain. "Of my music, you mean?"  
"No, no." Bruce was aware he must sound incredibly foolish and he attempted to pull himself together. "I don't know anything about your music. I was referring to Rod's."  
Comprehension dawned in Jans eyes, but a wariness showed as well. "Oh, uh......I see. Yes, I work there, but....."  
Bruce cut him off, anxious to put him at ease. He was obviously uncomfortable talking about it in school, which Bruce could understand. "Listen, Jan......is that your real name, by the way?"  
Jan smiled. "It's Janick, actually. Janick Gers."  
Bruce automatically returned the smile, something about the other man's smile made him feel like he was bathed in summer sunlight. "I'm Bruce Dickinson, as you probably know since you just sat through my lecture."  
"Your lecture was good, very inspiring. My main field of study is Humanities but I was required to take a business course and it's more interesting than I expected."  
Bruce felt emboldened by Jan's open manner. "Do you have a class right now? Maybe you could join me for a cup of coffee or something."  
Jan was hesitant. "I think you should know something. I work in a gay club but, umm....I'm not gay."  
Bruce felt a sharp pang of disappointment. It had never occurred to him that Jan may be straight. Still, he realized he would like top get to know him better regardless. There was something engaging about him, something Bruce felt drawn to beyond his obvious attractiveness. "I know that sounded like a pick up line but I didn't really mean it that way."  
Jan smiled wider this time. "In that case, I don't have any more classes today. But how about a beer instead of coffee?"  
"That sounds even better!" Bruce smiled.

 

Jan agreed to ride with Bruce to a pub not too far from the university, as he didn't own a vehicle but used public transportation to get around. As they grew more comfortable with one another over a few pints, Bruce was able to look beyond the surface and develop an appreciation for Jan as a person. He revealed himself to be a witty, intelligent drinking companion and the more Bruce learned about him, the more intrigued he became. Jan was older than the usual university student, as Bruce suspected. In fact he was slightly older than Bruce himself, but he had only decided to continue his education after his first career choice hadn't worked out. Jan had been a professional musician for ten years, a guitarist for a moderately successful metal band in England's northeast, but the band had broken up, leaving Jan at loose ends. With being a musician as his only work experience, he hadn't been able to find a job to support himself as he pursued his degree, so when he chanced upon an advertisement for dancers at Rod's, he applied. He told them right away at the interview that under no circumstances would he strip, but to his complete surprise they hired him anyway based on his dancing alone. What's more, they allowed him to use his own music to dance to and that helped him overcome any remaining reservations he had about the job. The money was excellent and, coupled with what he earned weeknights as a guitar tutor, he was able to take care of his modest expenses.  
"The only drawback of the job is that people assume I'm gay. I get propositioned by men quite often so you can understand why I assumed that was what you were doing." Jan was apologetic, but Bruce assured him he needn't be.  
"I understand completely, and to be honest I'm not gay either. I suppose I could be considered bi, but I'm not looking to hookup with anyone of either gender. I go to Rod's to relax and watch the dancers. I only went a few times a year until I saw you dancing, though. Now I find myself there every weekend. Your performance is....different. It doesn't seem to matter that you don't remove your clothing, in fact it's refreshing that you don't."  
Jan seemed pleased. "Thanks! I enjoy it as long as I can just close my eyes and let the music take me over. It was that way when I was with the band, I would get so caught up in it that I forgot about the audience, so the fact that Rod's lets me use my own music makes it bearable. I don't think I could do it if they didn't."  
Bruce nodded. "When you say it's your music, exactly what does that mean?"  
"I should say it's my band's music, but since there is no more band I think of it as mine, I wrote much of it, and it's me playing guitar. "  
There was a wistfulness in Jan's grey-blue eyes when he spoke of his music that caused Bruce to comment, "You miss it, don't you?"  
Jan gave a small smile and a half shrug. "I suppose I do, but I should have known it wasn't going to last forever."  
"So what will you do when you get your degree?"  
Jan sighed, toying with the napkin on the table between them. "Teach, I suppose. Maybe I'll be fortunate enough to be able to teach music. When it comes to that, how did you ever come to start an air freight company?"  
"I just sort of fell into it. The company I was working for was going out of business and I knew I could turn it around if I had the chance. So just after my divorce I gathered a few investors and bought it." Bruce caught Jan's quick look when he mentioned his divorce, and he had to smile. "Yes, I was married, very briefly. Like I said, I like both men and women."  
'How....,"Jan paused, seeming to struggle for words. "How did you know?"  
Bruce wasn't sure what he meant. "Know what?"  
"You know, that you liked men too." Jan looked down and lowered his voice, seemingly embarrassed to be asking the question.  
"Oh. I don't know, I guess it was when I really couldn't think of any reason it should make a difference what sex a person was if I'm attracted to them."  
Jan looked thoughtful but didn't comment. The two of them ended up spending over two hours chatting at the pub, then Bruce offered to drive Jan home.  
"It's all right, I can take the bus from here."  
"That's ridiculous, I have my car right outside." Then Bruce realized what may be causing Jan to be reluctant to accept the ride. "You know I'm not going to hit on you or try to come up to your place, don't you?"  
Jan grinned, somewhat abashed. "I'm sorry, I've just grown used to being cautious since working at the club. But if you say you're just giving me a lift, I'll accept."  
Jan lived in a bedsit not too far away, and Bruce was careful to not make him feel uneasy. He would be lying to himself if he said he didn't desire Jan but he had also come to respect him as a person and didn't want to jeopardize their budding friendship. They exchanged phone numbers before Jan got out of the car, hoping to get together for another drink sometime.

Bruce felt almost reluctant to go to Rod's that Friday night. He very much wanted to see Jan dance but he also knew it would stir up feelings in him that weren't necessarily platonic and he wasn't sure how well he would be able to keep them in check. Still, he found himself at what had become his usual table when Jan emerged from the concealed door behind the small stage. As always, Jan didn't look out at the dozen or so men gathered in front of his stage but Bruce sensed that Jan knew he was there. The mix of music he chose for this evening seemed more hard-driven than his usual choices and there was an added aggressiveness to his moves, to the way he thrust his hips to the pole and rather than let his body follow the beat he seemed to almost lead the music somewhat in the way a conductor leads an orchestra. Now that he knew the music was Jan's own Bruce understood how Jan could anticipate the rhythm and let the music accompany him rather than accompanying the music, but there was more of a raw, almost sexual edge to the dance this night. Bruce was almost sorry he had come, it would be more difficult than ever to keep his desire for Jan in check, but he also knew wild horses couldn't have kept him away. By the end of the performance Jan's tip box was so full the bills were jammed in the slot and there was something akin to a smile on his face when he picked it up and exited the stage.  
Bruce had to have another drink before he felt calmed enough to leave the club. As soon as he was out on the sidewalk, however, a soft voice he immediately recognized called his name. He turned to see Jan standing against a door marked 'employees only' and he couldn't keep the smile from spreading across his face. Jan came over to him. "I thought you were here tonight."  
"I wouldn't miss your performance." Bruce admitted.  
"Do you have time to go for a pint?"  
Bruce was a little surprised, but agreed. "I don't have my car, though."  
"That's all right, there's a quiet pub just around the corner."  
They walked side by side and Bruce kept stealing glances at Jan, noting the unusually somber look on his face. He still wore his skin tight jeans but had thrown a denim jacket over his sleeveless top against the cool night air. When they reached the pub Bruce was relieved to see it was an ordinary pub tucked away on a side street from the busy main thoroughfare. They took a booth near the back of the nearly-empty room.  
Once their beers were brought, Bruce couldn't contain his concern any longer. "Is something wrong? You look....I don't know, troubled."  
Jan flashed a quick smile that was immediately erased. "I suppose I am. I've been thinking about what you said the other day."  
Bruce was at a loss. " What I said about what? We talked about a lot of things."  
"Yeah, we did, but only one thing stuck in my mind. It was what you said about how you knew you were attracted to men as well as women. You said if someone is attracted to a person it shouldn't matter what sex that person is."  
Bruce nodded, still unsure where Jan was going with this. "It shouldn't. At least, I've never thought it should. But why does that trouble you?"  
Jan appeared nervous, he was turning his pint glass in circles on the table leaving little wet rings on the worn wood. "I've......well, I've kind of found myself attracted to another man and I'm not sure how to handle it."  
Bruce felt his heart fall. Jan apparently found one of Rod's patrons attractive. He wasn't surprised. Rod's was an upscale club, it attracted many professional men as customers. Handsome, successful men; doctors, attorney's, stockbrokers. And as a new friend, a bisexual friend, Jan was looking to him for advice. He swallowed the lump in his throat, knowing he would help Jan any way he could with this.  
"Have you let the man know you may be interested?" he managed to ask.  
Jan shook his head. He was having trouble meeting Bruce's eyes, he was looking into his beer glass as though the answers could be found in the brown ale. "No. I'm not even sure if I should. I wouldn't know what he might expect of me. I mean, how would I go about asking him out?"  
"The same way you would ask a girl out. Like I said, there's really no difference." Inwardly, Bruce felt a knot in his stomach at the thought of Jan dating this man, whoever he may be. He only hoped the man would be worthy of Jan. Even though they had only known one another a very short time, Bruce knew Jan was a very special person.  
Jan appeared to think over what Bruce said, then he raised his eyes to Bruce's. "All right. Bruce, would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night?"  
Bruce gasped. He wasn't sure he had heard that correctly. "You mean......me?"  
Jan nodded with an almost shy smile. "Yeah. I mean, if you aren't interested....,"  
Bruce cut in, "Yes, Jan. I'd love to have dinner with you tomorrow night."

Bruce was as nervous as a schoolboy as he prepared for dinner with Jan the next evening. He had one of the feelings a person gets only a few times in a lifetime, like he was standing on the precipice of something big, something life-changing. They agreed that since he was the only one with a vehicle, he would pick Jan up and let Jan take from there since he was the one to initiate the date. He had no idea what Jan had in mind so he was unsure how to dress and changed his clothes three times before deciding on casual black pants and a blue button-up shirt. His black leather aviator jacket completed the outfit and, fighting down the butterflies in his stomach, Bruce set out for Jan's flat. He wondered if Jan were nervous as well preparing for his first date with another man.  
Bruce parked in front of the building but before he had even reached the door of the stairwell leading to Jan's room, Jan came out. He was dressed in black jeans and a long sleeved tee and he did look somewhat nervous, Bruce couldn't help but note. It eased his own nerves somehow, and he greeted Jan with a smile. Though Bruce was reconciled to his own bisexuality, he had never actually been on a proper date with a man and, though he expected to feel awkward, he found that it was much like going out to the pub with his pilots after work. Jan had a way of putting Bruce at ease, his mere presence was like a soothing balm to Bruce and the two chatted easily as Bruce followed Jan's directions to the restaurant he's chosen for them. It was a comfortably casual restaurant Bruce was unfamiliar with, softly lit but with a relaxed atmosphere and over the meal the two learned more about one another. 

Bruce learned that Jan's absence from work had been due to his returning to his parents home in Durham for a rare visit from his Father's family from Poland.  
"They didn't speak much English," Jan laughed, "and I never learned Polish so we mostly communicated through gestures and sign language."  
"Is Janick a Polish name, then?" Bruce asked. He had been curious about the name since he'd first learned it.  
Jan nodded. "My brother and sister have ordinary names, though. What about your family, Bruce. Where did you grow up?"  
Bruce couldn't help but grimace. "Worksop, but I was packed off to boarding school when I was really young. I'm not close to my family, I'm afraid."  
Jan was sympathetic. "I'm sorry, I wouldn't have brought it up if I'd known it was a sensitive subject. And I'm sorry I was going on about how close my family is."  
Bruce smiled. "No, it's fine. You didn't know, and anyway it doesn't matter anymore, it was all a long time ago."  
Jan shook his head. "Not having family is something that stays with you, Bruce. Maybe that's why .....," he trailed off, embarrassed.  
"Why, what? Bruce prodded him gently.  
"Why you sometimes seem so lonely." Jan said quietly, with a small smile.  
Bruce thought about that for a moment. He thought he had been handling his solitary life pretty well, putting his energy into his business and socializing occasionally with Ade and Nicko and now with Dave. But Jan was right and he knew it. He was lonely.  
"Maybe so." was all he said, but admitting it aloud was a something he had never done for anyone before. Something about Jan struck a chord in him making him feel he could trust him with his innermost secrets, that Jan wouldn't brush his feelings aside or judge him. They settled into a comfortable silence when their dinner was served and Jan suggested they go for a few pints afterwards.  
"There's a quiet pub not far from my flat," he told Bruce. "I pop in there several times a week when I don't have a student to tutor."  
Bruce was agreeable so after leaving the restaurant Jan directed him to a small, cozy pub a few blocks from the building where he lived. The bartender and an old man sitting at the bar greeted Jan by name when they entered but Jan deliberately led Bruce to the table furthest back against the rear wall. There were only a half dozen others in the place, all of them glued to a football match on the television over the bar, so the two men were left in peace. Bruce was surprised at how comfortable he felt, how at ease he was in Jan's company and their conversation continued to flow easily. Bruce learned that Jan was as passionate about his music as he himself was about planes and flying, and the time passed so quickly it was after midnight before Bruce realized it. The next day was Sunday, Bruce had no flights scheduled and Jan didn't have class, so when Jan suggested they go to his flat so he could show Bruce his collection of music on vinyl, Bruce gladly agreed.  
They walked, as it was only a short distance, and as they ascended the stairs to Jan's bedsit, Jan spoke.  
"My place isn't what you're used to, I'm afraid. It's small and I've only been here since the start of the school term so it's pretty basic."  
Bruce was unsure what he meant about it not being what he was used to. "My flat is small too, I'm really only there at night so I don't need much."  
Jan unlocked his door but glanced back at Bruce in mild surprise. "Really? You're the owner of your own company, I suppose I assumed you had a little house someplace."  
They entered and Jan switched on the lights. Bruce chuckled. "No, no house for me. My....my wife wanted to buy a house but even then I thought it was unnecessary. It was one of the many things we didn't see eye to eye on."  
The room was small, but clean and comfortable. There was a futon that apparently doubled as Jan's bed, a small television, a comfortable looking chair and a small kitchen table with two chairs. A functional but basic kitchen took up one side of the room and Bruce could see a bathroom through a doorway to his left. Along one wall was an array of amplifiers and four electric guitars on stands, an acoustic was laid across the chair.  
"Sit down." Jan gestured to the futon. "Want a beer?"  
Bruce accepted the cold Smitty's Jan brought from the refrigerator and sipped it as Jan knelt by several wooden packing crates filled with vinyl records. He was suddenly acutely aware that he was alone in a room with the man he had been fantasizing about for weeks and he had to consciously steer his thoughts away from how perfect Jan's ass looked as he knelt there, how gracefully his back was bowed and how his hair fell in soft waves to form a curtain around his face. He knew he couldn't allow himself to wonder if the hair felt as soft as it looked, or what it smelled like, or imagine how firm that ass would feel beneath his hands. He couldn't risk destroying the rapport the two of them had built that night, so he was grateful when Jan came over with several rather rare records to show him and ask which he would like to listen to.  
The two of them sat listening to records until nearly two A.M. and Bruce convinced Jan to play something for him on the acoustic. Though he knew little about it, Bruce could easily see Jan was good, very good. Reluctantly, though, he finally stood to take his leave. Jan walked with him to the door.  
"Can we get together again,?" Bruce asked. "Next time, let me treat you to dinner or we can do something else if you like."  
Jan smiled. "Dinner would be good. You have my number, just give me a call."  
"So," Bruce couldn't resist asking, "dating a man isn't so terrible, is it?"  
Jan had to laugh. "No, I liked it. I had fun."  
Bruce hesitated, then decided to go for it. "If you were on a date with a girl, what do you usually do at the end of the night?"  
"Umm...," Jan knew what he was getting at and he knew it.  
"Would you mind?"  
Jan didn't answer, he looked a little nervous but he didn't step back. Bruce stepped closer, leaned in, and touched his lips softly against Jan's. For just a brief second he felt a slight return of pressure, then Bruce knew he had to leave while he still had the will to do so. "I'll call you tomorrow, we'll decide what to do next time, okay?"  
"Okay." Jan 's voice was soft, he looked a bit dazed by his first kiss from someone of his own gender, and as he closed the door behind him Bruce saw him bring his fingers up to touch his lips hesitantly, almost as if in disbelief.

 

Bruce phoned Jan as promised the next day and the two decided to have dinner and catch a movie Wednesday night. On Monday morning Bruce drove to work in a brighter mood than he had been in for a long time, only to groan in dismay at seeing Steve Harris's Mercedes parked in front of the hangar. Damn it, what did that man want now? He hadn't said anything about another meeting so soon after their last one. Bruce parked and walked over to greet the man as he got out of his car.  
"We have to talk, Dickinson." Harry said without preamble. Bruce got a sinking feeling. Was he going to pull his backing of the company? Bruce wasn't confident that he could find another investor in time to meet the expenses. Unlocking the door, Bruce led the way to his inner office, his apprehension growing with every step. Harry took his usual seat behind Bruce's desk, leaving Bruce to sit in the visitor's chair. Harris looked at Bruce for a long minute from beneath his thick brows, his face expressionless.  
"Well?" Bruce finally broke the silence. "What's so important that you're out here first thing in the morning? We don't have another meeting scheduled for over two weeks."  
"I own several nightclubs around town, as you know." Harris finally spoke. "I was checking on one last Friday night downtown."  
Bruce waited, having no idea where Harris was going with this.  
"Downtown, one block from Rod's Men's Club."  
Oh oh. Bruce suddenly had an inkling of what was coming next.  
"I saw you leaving Rod's, Bruce. Leaving in the company of another man. Now, I know it's none of my concern what you do on your own time, but I've put a great deal of time and money into building this up into a respectable company. I'm going to have to ask you to be a bit more.....discreet with your lifestyle."  
Bruce couldn't hold back his surge of anger. "Are you telling me not to go to Rod's club, Harry?" It was the first time he had called him 'Harry' to his face. "Because if you are..."  
Harris cut him off. "I can't tell you that, as much as I'd like to. But I've experienced this sort of thing before with other companies I've backed. Sooner or later, a client is going to use your....predilections as an excuse to drop us as their carrier. Once that starts, others will drop us as well. This company is finally making a profit. A small profit, but a profit. We can't afford to lose even one client. All I'm asking is that you keep your quirks more private."  
"My quirks!" Bruce had to laugh at the phrasing. "Are you really that homophobic, Harry?"  
Harris had the grace to flush and look away. "There's no need for you to label me, Bruce. I haven't labeled you, and we both know I could."  
"Label me as what? A faggot? Is that what you're trying so hard not to say, Harris? How did you ever get so far in the entertainment industry with prejudices like that?!" Bruce was genuinely wondering about that last thing.  
Harris was starting to lose his calm demeanor. "I don't think I need to explain myself to you." He stood, walking briskly to the door. "I have a 9:00 appointment across town, but I came here especially to caution you. When you agreed to let me back this company you agreed to let me advise you on matters of public relations as well as finances, so I hope you will take my warnings to heart. We can't afford to lost clients, Bruce. I'll see you at our next meeting."  
Bruce was livid. He stood with his fists clenched tightly at his sides for five minutes after Harris left trying to reign in his temper. Harris didn't know how close he had come to feeling Bruce's fist against his jaw. Ade and Nicko arrived to see Bruce standing there, his posture as tense as a coiled spring, and they exchanged a look. They had passed the familiar Mercedes in the drive as Harris left the airfield and easily put two and two together. Though they were rightly concerned about their jobs, knowing that without Steve Harris's funding the company would almost certainly close, they were equally concerned for their friend. They knew, too, that now was not the time to approach Bruce to ask what had happened. Dave arrived and gave the scene a curious look, but all they had to say was that Harris had paid a visit for him to comprehend the situation.  
A little over an hour later Dave needed to consult with Bruce and had no choice but to knock lightly on the inner office where Bruce had retreated. Hearing Bruce mutter 'come in', he hesitantly opened the door, peeking around the edge. Bruce sat at his desk but there was no work spread out in front of him as there usually was, he seemed to be sitting staring into space.  
"Bruce? I need your authorization on the order for these parts, do you have a second?"  
Bruce seemed to snap out of his daze. "Yeah, come on in."  
Dave sat in the chair, handing the orders to Bruce for his approval, then he decided to speak. "Um, so I hear Steve Harris was here this morning."  
Bruce nodded curtly as he signed the papers. "It was nothing to be concerned about, just him throwing his weight around as usual. It's not bad enough he tries to tell me how to run my business, now he thinks he can dictate my personal life as well."  
Dave Murray was an astute man. His genial manner belied a sharp mind, he saw a great deal and heard a great deal and he had already surmised the situation between Bruce and Harris. "I'm not too surprised. From what I've heard about Steve Harris, the fact that anyone has a personal life at all would be enough to get his interest."  
Bruce glanced up with mild curiosity and Dave decided to plunge ahead. "He hasn't got much of one himself, from what I understand. His wife left him a few years ago, leaving him three little girls to raise on his own. It's part of what makes him such a bastard, I suppose."  
"Hmmph." Bruce snorted, but in truth he hadn't known about that. He had only been concerned with how Harris could help the company financially, he knew very little about the man outside of that.  
"Yeah, she left him for another woman, from what I heard. It was in all the gossip columns at the time." Dave took the signed papers, told Bruce he would see him at lunchtime, and left the office.  
So that was why Harris seemed so homophobic, Bruce realized. Still, that had nothing to do with him and it certainly didn't give Harris the right to try to tell Bruce what to do on his own time. He had no intention of stopping his visits to Rod's and he certainly had no intention of not pursuing a relationship with Jan. Janick Gers made him happier than he had been in years. His mind had been constantly on the blonde dancer ever since they parted Saturday night and even their phone conversation on Sunday left Bruce feeling lighthearted and more alive. He didn't know what, if anything, would develop with Jan but it was encouraging that Jan had wanted to continue seeing him. If nothing else, the two of them had a genuine rapport with one another and at the very least Bruce knew he had found a good friend. He sincerely hoped it would become more than a friendship but he knew he would never pressure Jan into something he was uncomfortable with.

Bruce picked Jan up at his door Wednesday night, taking him to an Italian restaurant not far from his flat. He had been a little concerned that Jan would be having second thoughts about dating a man but he seemed relaxed and at ease over the meal. The more they talked together the more Bruce liked and respected Jan, there was far more to him than his physical attractiveness. He had a sense of lighthearted fun about him that resonated with Bruce and he found himself responding in kind. They shared a similar sense of humor, a similar outlook on current events, even a shared interest in other world cultures.  
"The reason I wanted to be a pilot in the first place was I thought it would give me an opportunity to travel the world." Bruce confessed to Jan over dessert.  
"Has it?"  
Bruce had to laugh. "No, not really. I've flown to France a few times but almost all of our business is within the U.K. When I was in school, though, I dreamed of being a commercial pilot, leading a glamorous life."  
"So why haven't you pursued becoming a commercial pilot?" Jan was curious.  
"It isn't as easy as I thought, one needs a great deal of experience and I had to make a living."  
"Are you happy running your own company?" Jan asked quietly.  
Bruce paused, knowing that somehow Jan had picked up on some of the disillusionment Bruce felt. "I would be, yes, but I have to have backers to finance it and that limits what I can do." He didn't want to talk about that, he wanted to forget about business when he was with Jan. "How about you? You want to be a musician, do you think you will be happy if you become a teacher?"  
Jan gave a half shrug. "Like you said, one has to make a living. I'll never give up music. I can't, it's a part of me, but it's unrealistic to think I can make a career out of it."  
"Keep trying, Jan. Do what's in your heart."  
Jan gave Bruce a long, steady look. "I am."  
They chose a lighthearted comedy movie at a theater not far from where they had eaten and, as it was a warm spring evening, they walked.  
"Do you ever go for walks for enjoyment, Bruce?" Jan wondered.  
Bruce shrugged. "Not really. I guess I never feel like I have time."  
"I do quite often. Past the University grounds is a large park where I like to walk between classes sometimes, or I just take a bus to the edge of town and walk around the countryside."  
"It sounds nice." Bruce admitted.  
"Come with me this weekend." Jan suggested. "I can show you some of the places I like to go. You might find it relaxing."  
Bruce smiled over at him. "All right! I'd like that."  
Leaving the movie Bruce was debating if he should suggest going for a beer but Jan saved him the trouble. "Do you want to come to my place? I've been working on a piece of music I'd like to play for you."  
Bruce readily agreed. "I'd forgotten you said you wrote music. I'd love to hear it."  
It was earlier in the evening than it had been the last time Bruce was at Jan's apartment so after he's brought them both a beer from the refrigerator Jan plugged in one of the electric guitars, turning it down low and checking the tuning. He sat next to Bruce on the futon and began to play a rather complicated song, hard rock as all of Jan's music seemed to be but with more of a power ballad feel to it. When he finished Bruce sat in something akin to amazement.  
"Whatever you do, Jan, don't stop doing this. You're fucking magic!"  
Jan laughed a little. "I don't know about that, but don't worry. I could no more stop playing music than I could stop breathing."  
"Please don't do either one!" Bruce grinned, and Jan laughed again. He unplugged and put the guitar back on its stand, then rummaged around in one of the wooden crates he used as shelves, coming up with a tape.  
"White Spirit - that was my band - made a few demo tapes that we sent out to record companies. We had a little interest, too. We may have gotten somewhere if the band hadn't broken up, but the other guys just lost interest." He put the tape in the stereo that sat on the floor and sat down next to Bruce to listen. Bruce was very impressed. It was easy to pick out Jan's guitar, he had a particular style and the music was solid. Bruce watched Jan as they listened, watching as Jan's eyes closed and he moved slightly to the beat, Bruce saw his long fingers move as though he were playing the guitar along with it and it made him smile. Without thinking, he moved closer to Jan and leaned in, giving him a light kiss.  
Jan's eyes flew open but he didn't jerk away, he gave a smile so Bruce, encouraged, kissed him again, a little longer this time. The scent of Jan's hair filled him, the softness of it was against his fingers as he reached up to stroke Jan's face, and after a brief hesitation he felt Jan kiss back.  
They broke apart, Jan's eyes were a dark slate color now and his breathing had quickened. "Can you be patient with me, Bruce?" he said softly. "I have to get used to this."  
Bruce rested his forehead against the other man's. "I'll give you all the time you need, I would never rush you into anything. You're worth waiting for." He hadn't intended to say that last part aloud but Jan smiled and leaned in again to place a soft kiss on Bruce's cheek. Bruce sighed and closed his eyes, his senses were overwhelmed with the closeness of him and he felt his heart pounding.  
"I should probably go now." he finally managed to say. It took every bit of his willpower not to seize Jan and crush his lips against him, pull him close until he felt every breath the other man took.  
"Yeah," Jan's voice was still soft. "I have an early class. But we're going to the country this weekend?"  
"Absolutely!"  
"Come by and get me around noon on Saturday?"  
"I'll be here. Umm, I'll be at the club Friday, too."  
Jan smiled as they walked to the door. "I know."  
At the door Bruce turned to say goodnight but before he could, Jan stepped in and gave him another soft kiss.  
Bruce's pulse didn't return to normal until well after he reached his own home.

The remainder of the week passed quickly for Bruce. He had to take a couple of flights because Adrian had to take his mother to the physician and one of the planes needed an engine overhaul but these things didn't stress him out as they may once have done. Fortunately there was no further contact from Steve Harris and as Bruce was riding to Rod's on Friday night he found himself almost hoping Harris would see him entering the club.  
Jan's performance was mesmerizing, as always, and Bruce saw him look out to the tables a few times, spotting him and catching his eye. The second time he did this Bruce saw his dancing change subtly, there seemed to be an added energy and though he knew he may be imagining it, it seemed to Bruce that he had an extra snap to his hips, a little more shake to his arse. Near the end of Jan's set Bruce happened to glance at a nearby table and noticed the man sitting there unobtrusively pressing his hand against his groin, obviously aroused by Jan's performance. Bruce felt a quick surge of jealousy and had to remind himself that this was Jan's job. If these men were turned on it meant bigger tips and more money for Jan, which he knew he needed. He was the one Jan was dating.

Bruce had a better time Saturday than he expected. Jan directed him to drive to a wooded area a few miles from the edge of town and they walked, talking comfortably then falling into a companionable silence. Jan was wearing cargo shorts and a tee shirt and Bruce admired his fit body, watching the lean muscles of his legs as he walked beside him.  
After walking for perhaps an hour Jan stopped in a clear area beneath large trees and unslung the backpack he carried over his shoulder.  
"Let's sit here a while." he suggested, dropping to the ground by the trunk of a mature oak. Bruce sat too, and Jan dug into the backpack, handing Bruce a bottle of water then pulling out some small plastic containers with fruits and cheese.  
"A picnic?" Bruce smiled.  
Jan shrugged. "It's what I would do if I were with a girl, though it does seem kind of silly with you."  
"It's not silly at all." Bruce replied seriously. "It's very nice. Thank you."  
Jan looked down but smiled and Bruce felt a warmth spread inside of himself. They sat and ate, listening to the birds and the light wind through the branches above them and Bruce thought he had never felt more at peace. He absently watched a rabbit poking around several yards away, trying to convince himself it was too soon for him to be falling for Jan. He looked back at Jan and found the blonde looking at him and he gave up the argument, knowing it was too late. He knew he had fallen for Jan, had probably fallen for him the first night he saw him dance. Jan smiled and Bruce wanted to kiss him so badly he nearly moaned out loud. He didn't, he had given his word he wouldn't push anything with the other man and he knew he had meant it. Jan gathered the empty containers, putting them back in the backpack then he lay down on the grass, his hands behind his head. Bruce lay too, their heads close, and they talked idly, then Jan fell silent.  
"Bruce?" he said after a moment.  
"Yeah?" Bruce turned his head to look at the other man, who was looking at him.  
"Would you kiss me again?" It was asked hesitantly, almost as if he was afraid Bruce would refuse. Bruce smiled and rolled toward the other man, raising himself on one elbow and leaning over Jan, pressing his lips against his. He felt Jan kiss back immediately and then, to his astonishment, he felt Jan's tongue gently probing at his closed lips. He opened, eagerly letting him inside, feeling a surge of desire course through him that almost made him dizzy in its intensity. He felt Jan's arms close around him and he couldn't hold back his moan this time.

 

Bruce let the kiss deepen before he reluctantly drew back, looking down into Jan's eyes. Emotions were chasing each other through those expressive eyes like clouds across a windy sky. "Wow." He breathed.  
Jan smiled. "I feel as though I shouldn't like kissing you as much as I do."  
Bruce understood what he meant, he'd had those same feelings when he first began to explore his attraction to men. "But you do like it?"  
Jan nodded. "Yeah. I like it a lot." Bruce kissed him again, careful not to be too aggressive. He knew Jan needed to come to terms with his feelings at his own pace.  
After a few minutes they continued their walk, following a marked trail looping back to the area where Bruce had parked. They took their time driving back to the city, stopping at a cafe for dinner in a village on the way, but Jan had to dance that night so Bruce had to bring him home in time to get ready. As always, Bruce planned to watch Jan perform so he volunteered to wait for Jan then drive him to the club. Jan agreed readily, not wanting his time with Bruce to end. Bruce sat on the futon thumbing through a pile of music magazines while Jan showered and changed into his skinny jeans and tight tank top. When he emerged from the bathroom Bruce let out a wolf whistle and Jan laughed. He did look good though, very good indeed. The jeans clung to his long, lean legs and hugged his perfectly rounded ass and the sleeveless shirt showed his pale, creamy arms. Bruce felt the flare of desire he always felt when seeing Jan dance, that outfit was like an aphrodisiac for him. Later, sitting at his usual table watching Jan dance, he felt a strange kind of pride and possessiveness when he realized that he and Jan were growing closer. That gorgeous man swaying so sensuously on stage had kissed him and would no doubt kiss him again, and perhaps more.

Bruce and Jan saw one another twice the upcoming week, meeting for drinks at the pub near Jan's flat that he had introduced Bruce to on their first date. They couldn't stay out late, Jan had classes in the mornings and Bruce had to be at work at 8:00 A.M. but Bruce always accompanied Jan home and kissed him goodnight at the door. The kisses were getting longer and more heated each time and Bruce sensed that Jan was becoming more comfortable with their situation. As for himself, it was cold showers every morning and every night. It still wasn't enough, Jan invaded his dreams every night. The dreams weren't overly sexual, he would dream of kissing Jan, of running his fingers through his silky hair, of looking into those gray blue eyes, but he woke every morning with a raging erection and on the nights he would see Jan he usually had to masturbate before he could go to sleep. He felt a little ashamed but he couldn't help it, he had never felt such all-consuming desire for anyone before in his life.  
Every Friday morning Bruce and Dave and the pilots would have a company meeting to go over any issues or concerns that may have come up through the week. They gathered informally in Bruce's office and there was no set agenda for the meetings, they sat around for an hour or so discussing various things, but this Friday Ade and Dave were late.  
"Where are those guys?" Bruce asked Nicko.  
Nicko looked uncomfortable, which was very unusual for Nicko. "I'm not sure, they left here together last night. They've been spending a lot of time together lately."  
"They have?" Bruce hadn't noticed, he had been to preoccupied with his own thoughts about Jan.  
"Yeah, going out for drinks after work and the like. Been going on a couple of weeks now."  
"Well, good, I guess. I'm glad they're getting along so well."  
"Oh they're getting along all right, for sure." Nicko said with an odd smile. Bruce gave him a strange look but didn't comment. The other two men came in together a minute later and sat together on the sofa against the wall, both looking rather flushed. Bruce noticed but didn't give it more than a momentary thought and proceeded with the meeting as usual, anxious to get the workday underway as he was going to meet Jan for drinks after his set at the club that night. Fridays always seemed to drag for him, looking forward as he did to seeing Jan that night, but now it wasn't only that he was looking forward to seeing Jan dance, he was looking forward to being with him, talking and laughing with him, even stealing a few kisses.  
It seemed to Bruce than Jan's dancing was growing bolder, his moves more and more openly sexual, since he had started seeing Bruce. His tip chest at the edge of the stage was stuffed to the top these days and although Bruce couldn't completely ignore the jealousy he felt as the men at the tables around him ogled Jan, he knew the money was needed. Jan told Bruce to meet him by the employees entrance a half hour after his set was finished and he felt himself break into a wide smile when Jan emerged right on time. He wanted to rush over and give him a kiss but he restrained himself and merely greeted him. As the two started to walk to the nearby pub, however, a man Bruce recognized as another of Jan's regulars called out.  
"Jan!" He pronounced it with the hard 'J', Jan instinctively turned and a man somewhat older than Bruce approached, ignoring Bruce completely.  
"You're the hottest thing I've ever seen, sexy! How about coming back to my place with me?"  
Jan merely said "No, not interested" and was already turning away, but the man reached out and grabbed Jan's arm roughly.  
"Come on! I can show you a really good time, and I'll make it worth your while."  
Bruce couldn't stay silent. "He said no. Now get your hands off him."  
The man turned to Bruce. "And just who are you, his pimp?"  
Bruce saw red and before he even thought about it he found himself hitting the man hard across the face with his fist. "No, I'm his boyfriend, you stupid fuck! Now get out of here!"  
The man put his hand up to his nose and it came away smeared with blood. "Look what you did! I should call the police!"  
"And tell them what, that you were looking to hire a prostitute? Get out of here or I'll break your nose next time!"  
The man hesitated, but blood was still running from his nose and he finally turned and stalked away.  
Jan was standing to the side, and he wouldn't meet Bruce's eye. "Hey, are you okay, mate? He didn't hurt you, did he?"  
Jan shook his head, still not looking up. "I think I've changed my mind about going out, Bruce. I just want to go home."  
"Don't let that jerk ruin our night, he isn't worth it."  
"I just don't feel like going out."  
"Well, let me take you home, then."  
"You don't have to do that, I'll catch the bus."  
"Janick, I'm taking you home. No arguments, okay?" Bruce hailed a passing taxi but he was worried about Jan. It had been an unpleasant incident but Jan had told him that men had tried to pick him up before, he should have been able to brush the whole thing off. They were silent during the taxi ride to Jan's flat and once they arrived Jan muttered 'Goodnight' and quickly got out of the cab. Bruce quickly threw some money at the driver and ran after Jan.  
"Jan, wait! Please." Jan was already unlocking his door at the top of the stairs and he looked back at Bruce but didn't say anything. Bruce caught up with him as he entered the apartment. "Talk to me. What's wrong."  
Jan sighed and threw his jacket down on the chair, sinking down on the futon. Bruce sat next to him, turning to him imploringly.  
After a minute Jan spoke, looking at his hands clasped in his lap rather than at Bruce. "That man mistook me for a prostitute, Bruce. I'm a stripper, I work in a gay club, so why wouldn't he think that? But for him to say those things in front of you....it's humiliating."  
Bruce put his hand on Jan's arm. "You have no reason to feel that way, you didn't do anything wrong. It's just a job."  
"It's a job I should be ashamed of having. It never really bothered me before, but now it's different."  
"Why is it different now?" Bruce didn't understand.  
Jan looked up and the look in his eyes tore at Bruce.. "Because I'm dating you, and you're a good man. An upstanding, respectable man. You shouldn't be seen with someone working at a place like Rod's."  
Bruce understood now and it wrenched at his heart. "Jan," he leaned in closer, "Please don't say things like that. It doesn't matter to me that you work there, it wouldn't matter to me where you worked. I just want to be with you, I don't care about anything else."  
Jan looked at Bruce for a long minute. "You told that man that you were my boyfriend." he finally said softly.  
Bruce had spoken without thinking at the time but he realized now that he very much wanted it to be true. "Would you be all right with that?"  
Jan smiled for the first time since the incident. "Boyfriend is kind of a silly word for it, but....yeah. I would really like that."  
Bruce reached out and closed his arms around Jan, hugging him close, enjoying the warmth of him, the scent of him, the solid feel of the lean body against his own. It was nothing more than a hug but when he felt Jan's arms close around him in return, he felt a lump in his throat. "You're so special, Jan" he whispered, burying his face in the silky golden-highlighted hair. "I'm so glad I found you."  
Jan giggled softly in his ear. "You make me feel special. I'm glad I found you, too."  
Bruce drew back just enough to look into blue eyes darkened with emotion, then Jan's eyes fluttered closed as his lips met Bruce's. This kiss was more ardent than their previous ones, there was a sense or urgency beneath it and Bruce moved his lips from Jan's to kiss along his strong jawline and around his ear. He heard Jan sigh softly and it sent a wave of passion through him, he tightened his arms around the slender body, pulling him close and running his hands up Jan's back. He felt Jan giving his neck soft, wet kisses, light at first but with a growing confidence and he felt the slim fingers of the other man running up his spine, making him shiver. The kisses intensified and he slid his hand beneath the edge of Jan's tee, feeling the firm, warm skin beneath his palm.  
"Bruce..." After a few minutes of fervid making out, Jan pulled away slightly. "Can we slow down a little?"  
Bruce had difficulty finding his voice, but with an effort he drew back. "Of course, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to rush you."  
"No, that's not it." Jan was out of breath as well. "I ....I want to go on, but I don't know what to do."  
Bruce smiled and brushed a lock of hair from Jan's face with his fingertips. "You don't have to do anything, it's all right."  
"No, Bruce.....I want to." Jan's eyes were dark and shining in the dim light of the one lamp. "I'm not sure how far I'm ready to go, but I don't want to stop."  
Bruce felt his heart hammering and he felt his jeans uncomfortably constricting his arousal. "I want you so badly!" he admitted, "I've wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you, but anytime you tell me to stop, we'll stop. I promise."  
Jan smiled. "I know. I.......I want you, too."  
Bruce slowly returned his arms around Jan, meeting his lips again with deliberate pressure, his tongue probing into Jan's mouth and swirling around Jan's, tasting the unique and somewhat sweet taste he instinctively knew was Jan's essence, just as the clean, somewhat herbal scent was Jan's own. "I want to touch you, Jan. Can you take off your shirt?"  
Jan moved back just long enough to pull his shirt over his head and toss it on the floor then he returned to Bruce's arms, pressing his body so close that Bruce could feel that he, too, was aroused. He was still wearing the skin tight jeans he danced in and Bruce fancied he could feel the heat of him through the fabric. Their lips molded together and he felt Jan's slim fingers creep beneath the hem of his shirt, so he tugged it off. Jan let his fingers trail through Bruce's abundance of body hair and he couldn't hold back a low groan. "Ah, God, you turn me on so much!" Then he drew back to look into Jan's eyes. "But you know there's more to it than that, don't you?"  
Jan nodded. "I feel something for you too, Bruce. I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't."  
Bruce smiled and ran his hand down Jan's smooth, hairless chest. "So beautiful," he murmured. "So perfect." He captured Jan's lips again and lay back on the futon, pulling Jan down on top of him. He felt Jan's hardness against his thigh and he pressed his leg slightly against him, causing the blonde to catch his breath. "Can I.....?"  
Jan nodded."Yeah......"  
Bruce slowly ran his hand down Jan's chest again and across his stomach, then lightly down over the front of his jeans, cupping him gently. Jan closed his eyes and leaned his head back, his lips slightly parted, his expression so sensual that Bruce pressed his own arousal against Jan without thinking. Jan's eyes opened again and he lowered his head to Bruce's chest, kissing him then finding a nipple and lightly touching his tongue to it. Bruce instinctively moved his hips against Jan again, his palm still on Jan's groin, then he found the button to Jan's jeans and popped it open. Jan was lying half on top of him, still kissing and licking Bruce's chest, but when Bruce began to slide Jan's zipper down Jan made a low moaning sound deep in his throat that Bruce was afraid was going to make him come on the spot. Jan wore no underwear, the jeans were so tight he couldn't, so tight Bruce couldn't fully slip his hand inside so without being prompted Jan wiggled the jeans down his slim hips. When Bruce slowly closed his hand around Jan's length, Jan drew a shuddering breath and tentatively moved his hand down to Bruce's zipper.  
Bruce closed his hand over Jan's, stopping him. "Let me do something for you first, all right?" he asked softly. Jan removed his hand, placing it back on Bruce's chest, and Bruce began to kiss his way down Jan's torso. Jan lay back at Bruce's side, impossibly close on the narrow cushion, giving Bruce full access to his body. Bruce found the small, pink nubs of Jan's nipples and flicked his tongue over one while plucking the other gently with his fingers, making Jan writhe against him. Jan was moaning low and Bruce continued slowly working his way down the smooth skin of his stomach, swirling his tongue around his navel, deliberately teasing both of them by going slow though he wanted Jan so badly he thought he would go insane. After an agonizing long few minutes he reached Jan's groin. By now Jan had put his hands on Bruce's head, fingers threaded in his hair, and he couldn't lie still. At the first touch of Bruce's tongue on his member Jan cried out loud, his hips jerking involuntarily. Bruce was more experienced with this, but even so his experience was limited to hurried trysts with men he had no feelings for. This was completely different and he wanted to be certain Jan enjoyed it so he allowed himself to act instinctively, doing with Jan what he knew felt good on himself, and within a few minutes Jan was throwing his head from side to side, his hair whipping across his face, a long, low moan escaping his lips. Suddenly he stiffened, gasped, and spent himself in Bruce's mouth. Bruce swallowed greedily, not stopping, cleaning Jan completely before he released him and rested his head against his stomach. 

 

He could feel Jan's heart pounding and felt his long fingers stroking through his hair. It was a moment before Jan spoke.  
"That was.......I don't know what to say." His voice was low and breathy, and Bruce raised up to look him in the face. He wanted to kiss him but was uneasy about having Jan taste himself on his lips. Jan didn't mind, though. He took Bruce's face in his hands and kissed him deeply, and Bruce was sharply aware that that he was still agonizingly, almost painfully, turned on.  
"I want do do something for you," Jan whispered, "but I don't know how to do.....what you did."  
"It's okay, I just wanted to make you feel good."  
"No, I want to.....," Jan's fingers returned to Bruce's zipper and this time he didn't stop him. When Jan opened his jeans and released Bruce, he let out a sigh of relief, he was so hard the jeans had been very uncomfortable. Jan's fingers deftly closed around Bruce, moving hesitantly at first but when Bruce groaned, circling his arm around Jan's shoulders, Jan's grip tightened and his movements became firm and sure. It was over very quickly, Bruce arched his back and heard himself yell Jan's name in a strangled voice as white lights flashed behind his eyes, his orgasm one of the most intense he had ever experienced. Jan didn't stop stroking him until Bruce fell back against the cushion, then he lay his head on Bruce's shoulder.  
"Stay here with me tonight, Bruce."  
Bruce pressed a kiss to the top of his head. "I'm not going anywhere."  
They dozed for a few minutes, then Jan got up to release the catch turning the futon into a bed and pulling some pillows and a blanket out of the old steamer trunk he used as a coffee table. Meanwhile Bruce cleaned up in the bathroom and when he returned they settled down more comfortably, nude beneath a soft blanket, falling asleep holding one another close.

The smell of coffee and fried eggs awakened Bruce. He opened his eyes and smiled to himself, seeing Jan at the stove across the room, barefoot in camo pants and a tee. The night before had been better than the countless fantasies he'd had about Jan and the love he felt for the other man was undeniable now, it was an all-encompassing warmth and contentment that he felt in every fiber of his being that he had never imagined experiencing. He sat up and retrieved his jeans from the floor, pulling them on then going over behind Jan and wrapping his arms around him from behind.  
Jan laughed softly, moving the pan from the burner then turning into Bruce's arms. "I made us some breakfast. It isn't much but I don't have much food on hand."  
"It smells great, thanks." He sat at the small table and Jan put plates of eggs, toast, and marmalade out, pouring them each some coffee. They ate on contented silence, taking their coffee over to the futon which Jan once again straightened into the form of a couch. "How do you feel this morning?" he finally asked Jan. "You're okay with what happened last night?" Bruce knew how new this all was to Jan and was concerned that he might have some regrets.  
"I feel really good, actually." Jan smiled. "Everything just feels....., right, if you know what I mean."  
"I know exactly what you mean." Bruce laid his cup down and looked at Jan. "It's probably too soon to say this, Jan, but I......,"  
Jan interrupted him by touching his cheek, his thumb tracing Bruce's lips. "I love you too, Bruce. " His soft voice was low, almost a whisper, and Bruce seized his hand, kissing his fingertips. He could scarcely accept his good fortune.  
The two of them spent the rest of the day together, and that evening Bruce brought Jan to his flat for the first time. His place was slightly larger than Jan's, with a separate kitchen and bedroom, but it had never seemed like a real home to Bruce until he and Jan were there sitting on the couch with a beer eating delivery pizza with a football match turned low on the TV. They weren't really paying attention to the show, talking and laughing together instead. Jan say tucked in the circle of Bruce's arms, his head on Bruce's shoulder as they gradually relaxed and grew quieter.  
"Can you stay here tonight?" Bruce finally asked.  
Jan didn't answer. Instead he sat up, looking at the mindless show now playing on the muted television screen. Bruce sensed a tenseness in Jan and he waited for him to speak.  
"You've done these things before, I know. I......I don't want to disappoint you and I know you might want to do things I'm not sure I'm ready for." Jan was obviously uncomfortable talking about this. Bruce knew exactly what he was talking about and was anxious to put him at ease.  
"I'm not as experienced as you probably think." Bruce admitted quietly. "I've only tried to.......go all the way with a man once, and I backed out at the last minute. So as far as that goes I'm no more experienced than you are. I will never be disappointed with you, Jan. If you stay tonight we don't have to do anything at all, I just want to hold you."  
Jan looked over at him, smiling slowly. "Then I'll stay. I want to be with, you too. I'm just a little nervous."  
Bruce stroked the soft hair back from Jan's face. "Me too." he smiled, leaning in for a kiss. That night the two of them grew more at ease with each other's bodies, touching, kissing, learning what the other liked. They didn't go any further than they had the previous evening but Bruce was more than happy with that. He found the mere closeness of the blonde intoxicating, every touch of his hands and his lips exhilarating, and they eventually fell asleep curled together in Bruce's bed.

Bruce gave Jan a lift to his classes the next morning and was at work early, only remembering at the last minute that this was the day he was expecting Steve Harris for their scheduled meeting to go over the books. He felt so buoyant, so alive and content, that even that prospect failed to dampen his mood. He never knew what time Harris would show up on these appointed days so he was in his office going over a flight manifest with Nicko when he heard a ruckus out in the main hangar, raised angry voices causing them to exchange a 'what the fuck' look. Bruce hurried out to find a livid Steve Harris shouting at Ade and Davey near the open hangar door. Evidently rather than coming in through the side door as usual, Harris had entered the building that way.  
"What the hell is going on out here?" He strode over top where the three stood, they had stopped shouting when Bruce appeared but Harris was glaring at the other two who stood close to each other, anger mixing with what seemed to be embarrassment on their faces.  
"These....these two are just as bad as you, Dickinson! We should rename this company Faggot Air Freight!" Harris sputtered out.  
"That's enough! Come in my office, Harris, and explain what you're going on about." Without waiting to see if Harris was following, Bruce turned on his heel and marched back into his office. He was almost sorry to see that Harris had followed him in. Before the other man could even get a word out, Bruce turned on him.  
"You push your boundaries a lot around here, Harry, but you have no authority over my staff! If you have a problem with anyone here, you come to me with it. I will not have you shouting at my employees!"  
"They....they......." Harris was obviously so upset he couldn't form a coherent sentence, and he stopped to take a deep breath. "I caught them kissing! Smith and the new guy, the general manager. I walked in and they were in a .....a clinch behind the plane!"  
This was news to Bruce, but a few things he's noticed suddenly made sense. Outwardly he didn't show his surprise. "As long as they do their job and follow regulations, so what?"  
"So what!?" Harris raised his voice again. "I've already talked to you about this sort of thing, and now they're doing it! It's like a fucking epidemic!"  
Bruce calmly took his seat behind his desk rather than letting Harris take it, as he usually did. "They're my employees, Harris. It's none of your goddamn business."  
Harris was beside himself, pacing across the small office, and Bruce had a momentary concern for the other man. Softened perhaps by his newfound love with Jan, he found his anger dissipating.  
"Harris.....Steve," he had never called the other man by his first name before, "I'm sorry you feel the way you do, I'm sorry your wife left you, I'm sorry you're now a single father, but I will not let you interfere with my personnel. Pull my backing if you must, but you have no right to ask me or my staff to pay for your misery with our happiness."  
To Bruce's complete and utter astonishment, Harris suddenly seemed to collapse in upon himself, sinking into the chair. An expression came across his face that Bruce never thought he would see. Vulnerability. His usually snapping brown eyes lowered and when he raised them again to meet Bruce's gaze, Bruce thought he must be imagining the moisture he saw glistening in them. He waited, and after what seemed like an interminable silence he spoke, his voice so low Bruce had to strain to hear him.  
"You're right." Steve swallowed, and spoke a little louder. "You're right." He sighed, a ragged sigh as though he was struggling to keep tears in check. "I....overreacted. I apologize. It's just so damned hard to see people happy and in love when I'm so fucking lonely!"  
Bruce felt a compassion he never imagined he would feel for the other man. "Open up a bit, Steve. You don't have to be lonely, you know."  
Harris shook his head. "I can't afford to, I'll only get hurt again."  
"Maybe." Bruce admitted. "But maybe not. It's worth the risk, believe me."  
Harris merely shook his head and stood. "I'd better go. We'll reschedule our meeting. I'll.....I'll apologize to Smith and Murray on my way out,"  
"Wait," Bruce called impulsively, standing as well. "We're all going to go to lunch in a moment. You can join us."  
Harry hesitated on his way to the door and looked back at Bruce questioningly.  
"I mean it. We're only going to the fast food place up the road, but you're more than welcome."  
Harris paused for a full minute, then he returned to the chair and sat, nodding. Bruce understood that it was a fragile moment, the other man was nervous and uncertain, but he also knew his employees. They were not the kind of men to hold a grudge. A few minutes later when he and Harris walked out into the main hangar they were met with three pair of apprehensive eyes. To Bruce's relief, Harry went straight over to where Dave and Adrian were nervously standing and spoke quietly to them, obviously apologizing for his earlier behavior. As he knew they would, the two visibly relaxed and even smiled. Nicko appeared at Bruce’s elbow.  
"Ol' Harry looks almost human right now, doesn't he?"  
"He is human, it seems. All too human."

Bruce and Jan didn't have an opportunity to see one another again until Wednesday, with Jan's tutoring and Bruce having to cover a few extra flights, though they spoke on the phone at least once a day. They met for drinks that night at what was becoming their regular pub not far from Jan's place, and Bruce recounted the story about Steve Harris, something they had never quite gotten around to covering during their phone conversations.  
"And just as I thought," Bruce was finishing up, "everyone accepted Harry over lunch. He was quiet, I think he was out of his element being treated as just another bloke, but he did seemed to loosen up a bit."  
Jan nodded. "I remember Steve Harris, the band played at a few of the venues he owns. This was several years ago, he was a quiet sort but easy going enough back then. He was in a band himself when he was younger, you know. It was good of you to include him, Bruce."  
Bruce gave a rather embarrassed shrug. "It seemed the thing to do. I couldn't stand seeing him so miserable when I'm so happy."  
Jan smiled, his eyes warm. "It's good to see you happy, Bruce."  
"All because of you." Bruce told him frankly, and Jan looked humble.  
"Are you going to spend the night?" Jan asked softly.  
"I'd like to. I even brought a change of clothes, in case you asked me to."  
Jan laughed. "You know I was going to ask you to!"

When they arrived at Jan's flat Bruce seized him for a kiss as soon as they were inside the door, it was their first of the evening because they'd met in the pub.  
"I've missed you! I know it's only been a few days but it seems too long!"  
"Missed you, too." Jan smiled as they sat together on the futon. Jan hadn't made it back up into a couch from the night before, it seemed, as it was still in the form of a bed. They kissed again and Bruce felt the longing stir in him that seemed to form whenever he as much as thought of Jan. They made out for several minutes, lying back and molding their bodies together. Eventually Jan pulled away slightly, looking up into Bruce's warm brown eyes.  
"I've been thinking about something, Brucie."  
Bruce's heart swelled at the intimate nickname and he pecked a kiss to the tip of Jan's nose. "About what?"  
"I think......I think I'm ready for anything we could do together. I want to try......,"  
Bruce felt a jolt go straight to his groin. "Are you sure?"  
Jan nodded. "Yeah. I know you won't hurt me and that if I get frightened and ask you to stop, you'll stop."  
"I will never hurt you, and anytime you want to stop, we will."  
Jan nodded, somewhat breathless. He was nervous but also very, very turned on. When Bruce kissed him again he threaded his fingers through his tousled hair, pulling him closer, slipping his tongue once again in Bruce's mouth. Bruce was a little apprehensive too, the humiliating experience of his panicking at the last minute the one time he had tried actually fucking Ian still alive in his memory. But this was Jan and there was love here, genuine love. Jan was gentle and loving and everything he thought he would never find in his life and he wanted him, all of him. It was going to okay.  
And it was. It was loving and caring and incredibly passionate. Some intuition had told him to slip a bottle of lubricant in his overnight bag and the same instinct told him when and how to use it to ensure the experience was a good one for them both. As he moved over Jan, feeling the slim thighs circling his waist, he didn't have to think, everything felt easy and natural. His eyes locked to Jan's as they joined for the first time and Bruce felt like it was more than their bodies joining, it was their very beings becoming one, flowing together, the emotions and physical sensations combining until it was more than either of them could bear. They reached the pinnacle together, crying out as one, spending themselves freely without any reservation.  
They lay together for a long time afterwards, absorbing what had happened between them and revelling in it. Bruce was stroking Jan's hair back and Jan's fingers smoothed through his chest hair.  
"Stay with me, Jan." Bruce said quietly. "Always."  
Jan kissed him softly. "I will." 

 

Bruce awakened slowly the next morning, at first disoriented and puzzled by the solid warmth nestled close to his side. When he opened his eyes he was met with an abundance of silky golden brown hair spread across his chest as Jan slept peacefully in the crook of his arm and the night before flooded back into his mind. It had been the most memorable experience of his life and he hoped with all his heart that Jan wouldn't regret any of it. He was learning that Jan could be impulsive once he decided to do something, it had been that way when he had first asked Bruce out and again the night before, but that didn't guarantee he would always be comfortable with those decisions. Bruce wanted with all his heart to stay right where he was all day and just gaze upon Jan lying next to him but he knew he couldn't. He had to go to work and Jan had classes. It was still early though, the sun had just come up and it's rays were slanting across the hardwood floor of Jan's room. His arm was stiff from being beneath Jan all night but still he drew his lover closer and gently kissed his brow.  
Jan stirred, his eyes opening and looking at Bruce with momentary confusion, then he smiled. "Good morning." he murmured sleepily.  
"Good morning, beautiful. How do you feel this morning?"  
Jan's fingers went to a vivid love bite on his neck. "I think I may be sore in ....a few places, but I feel wonderful."  
"No regrets?" Bruce was almost afraid of the reply.  
Jan tilted his head up to place a soft kiss on Bruce's stubbled cheek. "None!"  
The two lay in bed as long as they could, talking quietly and exchanging soft kisses, then Bruce joined Jan in the shower. The room only had a narrow shower stall but Bruce didn't mind at all. It was his first real look at Jan's long, lean body in its entirety and he couldn't hold back his arousal. They had only the time to stroke each other to completion before Bruce dropped Jan off at the University and hurried to work. He arrived late but as he was the boss no one said anything, even if they did look a little askance at his appearance. Jan hadn't been the only one with a souvenir of the night's activities prominently showing on his neck. Now that he was aware that Dave and Adrian were in some sort of relationship, he recognized that the signs had been there for weeks but he had simply overlooked them. When Ade wasn't on a flight he could usually be found in Dave's cubicle and the two now rode to work together. Bruce had known Adrian for over seven years but he realized he had never even suspected he might like men. In fact, he knew little of Ade's personal life at all and realized he had never heard the man mention a relationship with either sex. Bruce had no problem whatsoever with their closeness as long as both men were doing their jobs and not disrupting routine.

On Friday Bruce picked Jan up after work to give him a ride to Rod's for his shift. Jan's dancing seemed more tame that evening and he was several minutes later than usual exiting the club as Bruce waited at the employee's entrance. When he did emerge he discreetly grasped Bruce's hand  
"Sorry I'm late, the manager wanted to talk with me."  
"Oh?" Bruce had a momentary worry that Jan had been reprimanded for his lackluster performance that night, but that was not the case.  
"They want to know if I can take on an extra night, they need another dancer on Wednesday nights."  
"Oh." Bruce wasn't sure how to react. "It would certainly mean more money for you."  
"True. But I have two guitar students on Wednesday nights. I can arrange to tutor them on a different knight, I'm sure, but ....." he trailed off. They were walking to their usual nearby pub, as was their habit after Jan was finished working.  
"But what? " Bruce looked over at Jan, noticing his unusually somber expression. Jan didn't reply until they got their pints at the pub and had seated themselves at an out of the way booth near the back of the room.  
"I felt.....weird out there tonight, Bruce. Like I shouldn't be up there dancing in front of all those men when I belong to you."  
Bruce smiled at the phrasing. "You don't 'belong' to me, but I know what you're trying to say. I'm not really sure what to tell you, though."  
Jan looked at Bruce across the narrow table. "I know you've said my working there doesn't bother you , but maybe it's starting to bother me a little."  
"Well.....how badly do you need the money Can you get by without that job?"  
Jan grimaced a little. "No, not really. I don't make much at all by tutoring and Rod's pays very well. I don't have many expenses, but there's school and my rent."  
"You wouldn't even hesitate about taking on the extra shift if you and I weren't seeing each other, would you?" Bruce asked quietly.  
Jan had to be honest. "No. In fact, when I hired on I asked for more shifts. At the time they were reluctant. I don't think they expected me to bring in any money at all because I refused to take off my clothes."  
Bruce was thinking, in fact he had been thinking about this for days and decided to broach the subject to Jan. "I do have a suggestion that could help cut your expenses. You could move in with me."  
Jan looked at Bruce in surprise, and Bruce hurried on. "I know it's really soon to take a step like that, I understand why you would have reservations about it."  
Jan shook his head slowly. "I.....I'll have to think about that."  
"It would be less expensive than your bed sit. And...."Bruce smiled, "we could be together. Waking up next to you every morning would be pure heaven."  
Jan flushed, embarrassed, but he smiled too. "Can I think about it?"  
"Of course, take all the time you need. It's a big decision. You might not like me very much if you had to be around me constantly. I can be a grumpy, temperamental bastard at times."  
Jan laughed. "I'm not without bad habits myself."  
"Oh?" Bruce grinned. "Indulge me, tell me some of your bad habits."  
Jan gave a half shrug. "Sometimes I wander off. In the middle of the night, if the mood takes me, I'll simply go outside and walk around, sometimes for hours. And I sometimes sit with headphones on listening to music for a long period of time. Like, all day. I sort of zone out and lose myself in the music."  
"Those aren't bad habits, they are things that make you special. If I woke up some night to find you gone it's all right as long as I know you'll come back."  
"I'll always come back, Bruce." Jan's voice was soft and his gaze intimate. Bruce felt his heart swell with love for this man.

 

The next evening Bruce noted that Jan's performance was back to it's usual dreamy sensuality and he also noticed a couple more of the regulars furtively rubbing their crotches while watching. Now that he was aware that this was happening he had almost been looking for it, even though he couldn't help but feel angered by it. He couldn't deny he felt possessive over Jan but he knew that was only natural. He hadn't told Jan that it bothered him, he knew that out of consideration for his feelings Jan was likely to stop dancing because of it and Bruce didn't want to be responsible for that. He reasoned that they were merely watching, they couldn't touch Jan, that was for him and him alone. Since the following day was Sunday he brought Jan to his flat that night straight after work, not going to the pub first this time. He wanted Jan. They had only made love the one time, though they had fooled around in other ways, but Bruce wanted him again, wanted him over and over, wanting to take possession of him completely.  
Jan waited until they were at Bruce's sitting on the couch with open beers before he told Bruce he had turned down the offer of an added night at the club.  
Bruce was somewhat surprised but secretly glad. Even though Jan now tutored Wednesday nights, he did so at the music lab at the university and the lessons were over by seven, leaving them the remainder of the evening to spend together. He didn't comment, he simply pulled Jan to him and kissed him deeply. They took their time with each other that night, exploring one another languidly, and Jan make it clear he wanted to complete the act. For the first time, he had gone down on Bruce, wanting to learn everything that Bruce enjoyed, but he stopped when he felt Bruce was getting too close to orgasm.  
Crawling back up Bruce's body he kissed him ardently, then looked down at him with gray eyes filled with desire. "I want to be a part of you, Bruce. I want ......," he paused and leaned backward, his backside rubbing against Bruce's rampant erection. "I want you in me."  
Bruce groaned, grinding himself up against his lover. "On the nightstand...."  
Jan reached over and found the tube of lubricant. Bruce nearly came immediately when he felt Jan's nimble fingers applying the cool gel, then he closed his eyes in ecstasy as he left the other man lower himself slowly onto him. "Oh God, oh my God, Jan!" he gasped. With a supreme effort of will he held still until he was sure Jan was ready, then before he could move Jan began to rock against him. He looked up to see Jan's head tilted back, his eyes closed, long wavy hair cascading across his shoulders and back. Jan moved instinctively, varying his pace, driving Bruce to the very edge before slowing down. He took Jan into his hand, stroking him to the rhythm until, as before, they reached their climax at virtually the same moment.

Jan collapsed on Bruce's chest completely spent, his long hair damp with sweat. Bruce stroked the softness, coming down slowly from the heights, kissing the top of his head.  
"Sometimes I can't believe this." he heard Jan mutter.  
"Believe what?" Bruce was still breathless. Jan lifted his head.  
"This. You and me. If anyone had told me a few months ago that I would fall in love with anyone I wouldn't have believed it, but with another man? And that it would feel so good and so right? " He shook his head, "It's too good to be true."  
"But it is true. I want to take you to the airfield tomorrow, show you around. No one will be there."  
"I'd like that. It doesn't matter if anyone is there, I'm not going to hide anything."  
It warmed Bruce's heart to hear this. "Neither am I. I wouldn't mind if the whole world knew. I.....I wasn't sure how you would feel about that." he admitted.  
Jan slid up to lay his head on Bruce's shoulder, silent for a minute before he spoke again. "I phoned my family the other night and told them I found someone wonderful. My Mum asked me what her name is, and when I said it's Bruce she went completely silent. I was getting worried, but then she told me she was happy for me and asked when she could meet you."  
Bruce chuckled. "Taking me home to meet the folks, huh? You must be serious."  
"I am."  
"Good," Bruce tightened his arm around the slim body snuggled against him, "because so am I."  
Bruce felt a surge of pride as he showed Janick around his business the next day. The three planes weren't new or large but Bruce had poured his heart into them and into building up his client base, with only minimal input from Steve Harris. He knew Jan didn't share his passion for aviation but he could also tell the blonde was genuinely interested and he appreciated it, holding tightly to his hand as they wandered through the hangar. After leaving there they had a leisurely lunch and spent the afternoon at Bruce's, making love, talking, and simply enjoying their time together.

Over the following week, however, Bruce wasn't able to see Jan nearly as often as he would have liked and anytime they were apart for even a day Bruce felt bereft, overcome with a longing that mere phone calls couldn't assuage. It wasn't simply physical, although the passion between them seemed to know no bounds. The very presence of Jan was like a balm to Bruce, lightening his heart more than he could ever have imagined. He hadn't realized how his overall behavior had changed until one day Nicko remarked that he looked as though he's won a million quid.  
Bruce laughed a little, somewhat disconcerted that others noticed the change in attitude. "Things are going pretty smoothly lately, is all."  
"Uh-huh!" Nicko gave him a knowing look. "So it had nothing to do with the marks I've been seeing on your neck or the long, hushed phone calls you've been making on your lunch hour, eh?" Nicko was often annoying, he could be loud and boisterous but he was keenly observant and had a heart of gold. "Well I say it's about damn time you let yourself have a bit of fun, mate! If I didn't know, better I'd say you're a man in love!"  
Bruce was disconcerted, not sure he liked the fact that someone had read him so accurately. Nicko slapped him on the back, laughing. "Never mind, Bruce, never mind! Just good to see everyone smiling around here! Ade told me this morning him and Davey are looking for a flat together now."  
Bruce was surprised things were developing so quickly between those two, but then he realized it was much the same for him and Jan. He hadn't pressed Jan any further about moving in with him, however. He knew that Jan would think things through at his own pace.

Bruce was unable to give Jan a ride to Rod's that night, he had to wait at the hangar for the final flight of the day to arrive, and when he arrived at the club Jan was already dancing. The regulars were all circled around his stage like predators and Jan was ignoring them all, but he sensed when Bruce arrived somehow and looked out at him, snapping his hips at the exact same moment and making Bruce hard so quickly he thought he would get lightheaded from the blood rushing to his nether regions. It had been days since they had been together, almost unbearably long for Bruce. After the show Bruce waited outside at the employee's entrance as was the arrangement, leaning against the brick facade of the alley next to the club. After a minute, though, he became aware of two or three other men lingering in the area. He thought nothing of it, assuming they were there for a similar purpose as him, to pick up a friend after work, but when the door opened and Jan came out, one of the men approached the dancer before Bruce could reach his side.  
"I'm back, gorgeous, and this time I won't take no for an answer!"  
With a start, Bruce recognized him as the man he had an altercation with two weeks before.  
"The answer is still no, so leave me alone!" Jan made to sidestep around the man, but the man blocked his way. Bruce approached quietly until he was just behind the man, Jan saw him but the man was unaware of his presence. Jan's eyes showed alarm but it was more out of concern for Bruce than for any other reason and Bruce knew his lover's peaceful nature was dreading another scene.  
The man made a grab at Jan but the dancer nimbly darted away, and when he moved to grab for him again Bruce roughly grabbed his wrist, twisting it behind him.  
The man was taller than Bruce but Bruce was stronger and he wrenched the man's arm up between his shoulder blades painfully. "I'm not going to tell you again, asshole! If I ever see you at the club again I'll have you arrested!"  
Bruce was furious but Jan tugged at his sleeve. "Let's just go, Bruce. I'll tell the bouncers about him, he won't be allowed in again."  
Bruce didn't want to let it go that easily, he gave the man's arm another sharp jerk. "You better hope I never set eyes on you again!" and he let go with a hard shove, pushing the man into the wall.  
"Bruce, please!" Jan implored. Bruce wanted to beat the man within an ounce of his life but he took a breath, restraining the impulse with difficulty. Since he was no longer concerned about anonymity, Bruce had been driving his own vehicle to the club recently and Jan took his arm, steering him to where he had parked.  
"I can't do this anymore, Bruce." Jan said as soon as the two were in the vehicle. "I can't handle this. Being hit on is one thing, but if you hadn't been there tonight......" he left that unfinished but they both knew full well what could have happened. It made Bruce's blood run cold. He didn't say anything, he didn't trust himself to speak. He was still shaking with rage as he fitted the key into the ignition and pulled out, driving toward his own flat.  
"Bruce?" Bruce looked over to Jan, seeing the distress in his face. He forced himself to smile and reached across to take Jan's hand in his own. They drove in silence for a few minutes before Jan spoke again. "Is .....is the offer of being your roommate still open?"  
Happiness immediately replaced the anger. "Of course it is! I've been wanting to ask you every time we've talked but I didn't want to press you. I want you with me all the time!"  
Jan turned his hand over and threaded his fingers through Bruce's. "I want to be with you, too, and I don't want to have to dance anymore. I'll still be able to pay my share of the expenses with what I earn tutoring....."  
"Don't worry about that, we'll work all of that out. I'll move your things over to my place, tomorrow if you like...."  
Jan laughed softly at Bruce's ill-disguised eagerness. "My rent is paid up until the first of the month, but that's just next week. I....I just want to be yours, I don't want to have other blokes ogling me anymore. It feels like cheating on you."  
They had arrived at Bruce's now and after he parked the car Bruce seized Jan in a searing kiss. ""You are mine, and I'm yours. And I can't wait to take what is mine!" He kissed Jan again, the kiss being returned with fervor, and the two barely made it inside Bruce's door before clothing was discarded and hands were exploring. Bruce had been somewhat surprised but very pleased to discover that Jan had a voracious sexual appetite once he got past his initial reserve, quickly being caught up in the physical sensations as well as the emotional connection that seemed to grow ever stronger between them. That night as they lay together, still breathless and coming down from the heights of their orgasms, Bruce noticed that Jan's face was glistening with tears. Their passion was overwhelming for him and Bruce was touched deeply, kissing the damp cheeks tenderly as Jan clung tightly to him. "How did I get so lucky?" he whispered. 

They moved Jan's belongings to Bruce's place the next day. Other than his clothes, guitars, and record collection he didn't have much to move and by the evening was officially moved in. The two of them decided to go out for dinner and after their meal they found a nearby pub Jan was familiar with from his days playing with the band. There was no live band this night, only a DJ, but the place was busy nevertheless and the only seating available was at the bar. Bruce was at the point of suggesting they go home when he heard someone call Jan's name. He turned to see a man threading his way through the crowd toward them.  
"Phil!" Jan greeted the newcomer with a quick hug. "I haven't seen you in...,what has it been, a year?"  
"Longer!" the other man grinned. "I'm glad I ran into you, man, I couldn't believe it when I saw you !"  
Jan quickly remembered Bruce. "Bruce, this is Phil, he was in the band. We're from the same town, actually."  
The man greeted Bruce with a genial grin , taking a stool just vacated on the opposite side of Jan. As the two old friends caught up, Bruce reflected that he actually hadn't met any of Jan's friends. The people Jan occasionally mentioned seemed to all be from his home town or from his time with White Spirit, which was understandable. Other than his fellow pilots, Bruce had few social contacts of his own and he was content with that, especially now that he found Jan. He felt that even if he and Jan were the only two people on earth he would have been perfectly happy. Phil didn't stay long but Bruce noticed Jan had a thoughtful look on his face after the man left. Driving back to his flat - now their flat - he mentioned it to Jan. "Your friend didn't have any bad news, did he? You look lost in thought."  
"No, no.....he gave me some things to think about, though."  
"Oh?" They had arrived home now and Bruce unlocked the door, making a mental note to give Jan the spare key.  
Jan sat on the sofa and accepted the beer Bruce handed him. "He told me he's playing bass for a different band now and that they're looking for a guitarist. He said I should try out."  
Bruce sat next to him. "And you're thinking about it?"  
Jan shrugged. "It's tempting, but I'm not sure. It would be a lot to handle on top of everything else. If it would bring in some money, though, it would be easier to quit Rod's."  
Bruce nodded. "I know you miss being in a band, and I know you're very talented." Jan had played several times for Bruce, never failing to impress him, making every note he played seem to flow effortlessly from his fingers. "Maybe you should try out, see what happens."  
Jan looked over at him, "You think so?"  
"If it's what you want, then yes, I do. I want you to do anything that will make you happy."  
"Anything that will make me happy, hmm?" Jan slid closer to Bruce and kissed him. "Do you know what will make me happy right now?"  
Bruce returned the kiss with fervor. "I think I can guess!"  
Jan's lips were on his again, insistant and urgent, making Bruce dizzy with want as he parted his lips with his tongue. "I want to go in the bedroom ," he murmured against Bruce's neck as his kisses trailed down his jaw, "and I want you to take me over," a kiss, "and over," another kiss, "and over again all night!"  
Bruce wordlessly stood and took Jan's hand, leading them to their bed. Their lips were crushing together even as they sank down onto the mattress, Bruce grasping Jan's arse and pulling him tightly against his groin. Jan's hands were running up his sides beneath his tee shirt, his lips following as he tugged the shirt over Bruce's head. The sensation of the blonde's lips against his skin caused Bruce to groan aloud. Jan seemed to have a natural knack for teasing Bruce and he loved it, loved feeling Jan softly kiss then unexpectedly lick his skin and even catch some chest hair in his teeth, tugging lightly. Jan was eager to learn more about pleasing his lover and worked his way lower and lower on Bruce until he was at his goal, teasing his hardness with light licks followed by engulfing him completely in his mouth. He could feel Jan pressing against his leg and he moved his leg to rub against him, causing him to moan around Bruce which nearly made him come instantly. He had never imagined himself feeling so uninhibited but it was impossible to restrain himself when with Jan, he was eager to try anything and everything with him. He had to stop the blonde after only a few minutes, he didn't want this to be over so soon. He pulled Jan up for a prolonged kiss.  
"Get undressed....," He tugged at Jan's shirt and Jan stripped himself naked in a matter of seconds, lying back full length against Bruce, who couldn't keep himself from gliding his hands over the smooth, lean muscles of his back. "I want to do so much with you, things I never imagined myself doing....."  
"Oh?" Jan's voice was teasing even as he nuzzled behind Bruce's ear, causing shivers to run through his body. "You know I'll do anything you want me to!"  
The soft voice in his ear was almost a purr and Bruce couldn't restrain himself any longer, he flipped the other man onto his back, nipping at his throat while he blindly reached for the lubricant. Their coupling was fast and frantic and Jan was becoming very vocal during their lovemaking, which Bruce found incredibly hot. At his moment of orgasm the blonde let out a strangled scream of Bruce's name, triggering his own blindingly intense orgasm. Twice more before morning the two made love, Jan was seemingly insatiable and Bruce amazed himself with his own stamina. It had certainly never been this way with his ex-wife.

It was obvious to Bruce's coworkers that something had put their boss into an incredibly good mood, even the imminent visit of Steve Harris didn't dampen his spirits. They had rescheduled the aborted meeting from the day Harris had joined them for lunch, Harry had been running late by the time they had returned to the hangar, but now Bruce didn't know what to expect. It was entirely possible the man had regretted showing his weakness and felt it had been a bad move to socialize with them.  
He need not have worried. He wasn't aware of when Harris arrived, he came out of his office mid-morning to discover Harris and Nicko exchanging photos of their children. It seemed that Nicko's two daughters were approximately the same age as Harris's and that Nicko had invited Harry's daughters to his own little girl's birthday party the upcoming weekend. And to his astonishment, Bruce overheard Harry accept,  
The investor was more subdued and less heavy-handed than he usually was as they discussed business, not once using the superior tone of voice Bruce had grown accustomed to, and when the meeting concluded he dared hope that perhaps he could learn to work more agreeably  
with Harris one day.  
That evening Bruce came home to find that Jan had left him a love note before catching the bus to the university that morning. It wasn't long, merely saying that Bruce had changed his life and that he loved him, but it was the first love letter of any kind Bruce had ever received. Jan had two students to tutor so he didn't return until after seven that evening and when he saw that Bruce had made dinner his jaw dropped.  
"Brucie!" he tossed his backpack in a corner, "I didn't know you could cook!"  
"It's only steak and potatoes, nothing fancy. Hey," he approached Jan, taking him into his arms, "don't I get a kiss?"  
Jan complied, doing a very thorough job of it. Bruce thought he could definitely get used to this domestic life. Over dinner Jan told him he had called Rod's that day and put in notice he was leaving.  
"They weren't happy, but after I told them about that guy in the alley they understood. They promised me they would never let that guy in the club again but it doesn't matter, I'm still quitting. Next weekend will be my last."  
Bruce smiled across the table at him. "I hope you'll still dance for me! Maybe I can even convince you to strip!"  
Jan gave him a naughty smile, "Oh, I think that's quite possible!"

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PART TWO

 

On the one month anniversary of Janick moving in with him, Bruce turned over the reins to Dave so he could leave work early. He wanted to do something special for his lover to celebrate and to thank him for making him happier than he could have ever thought possible. He knew that Jan had only one student to tutor after his last class that afternoon so he drove to the campus. He had some difficulty locating the music lab where Jan tutored but he arrived just as the lesson was to wrap up. Bruce leaned against the wall outside the room, glancing through the glass top half of the door and catching sight of the shining amber colored hair of his beloved. He sat with his back to the door, an acoustic guitar held in front of him, obviously still instructing even though Bruce couldn't see the student from his angle. He smiled to himself, even seeing Jan from afar was enough to fill his heart with warmth. He leaned his head back against the wall and waited.

Five minutes later the rattle of the door broke into his reverie and he looked up to see a slim girl with long dark hair standing in the doorway looking back into the room.  
"I'll see you next week, Janick. I'm looking forward to it!" Bruce saw Jan then, though the blonde didn't see him yet, and then to his consternation he saw the girl lean forward and kiss Jan's cheek. A mix of feelings he couldn't analyze hit him but first and foremost was jealousy. This girl was attractive and she was blatantly flirting with Jan. She flounced off down the hall, not noticing Bruce there, but Jan spotted him at that very moment.  
"Brucie! I didn't expect to see you here!" His smile was genuine, but Bruce hadn't missed the flush in his cheeks after the girl's kiss. So distracted was he by his thoughts that it took him a moment to respond.  
"It's our anniversary, sort of. I wanted to take you out to dinner."  
"That sounds wonderful." Jan quickly looked down the deserted corridor then slipped his hand into Bruce's. "It's the anniversary of when I moved in, right?"  
Bruce squeezed his hand. "That's right. Umm....so that girl was one of your students?"  
"Yeah."  
"Very attractive."  
Jan didn't reply directly. "She's been taking lessons since the first of the term. She can play well enough but she insists on coming back every week."  
Bruce barely suppressed a snort. Jan was so innocent in many ways, he obviously didn't know that the girl was after more than guitar lessons.  
"You ever ask her out?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.  
Jan looked over at him in surprise. "Actually she asked me out, a couple of times. I told her it's against school regulations for tutors to date the students they're tutoring." Jan was still looking over at Bruce as he started the car and pulled away from the parking area. "You know what I think?" he said quietly after a few minutes.  
Bruce glanced over, seeing a smile playing at Jan's thin lips. "What?"  
"I think you're jealous!" the blond smirked.  
"Oh, please!" Bruce scoffed. Then after driving a few blocks, "Should I be jealous?"  
Jan laughed softly and unbuckled his safety belt, sliding close to Bruce and placing his hand high on his jean-clad thigh. "What do you think, Brucie? Do you think that girl has anything like.....this?" He lightly brushed his fingertips across Bruce's crotch, and Bruce swerved the car a bit, gasping.  
"Christ, Jan, are you trying to make me crash?"  
Jan was still smiling teasingly. "I'm just trying to remind you that you have nothing to be jealous of, with that girl or anyone else."  
Bruce was still a little disconcerted. He hadn't been consciously aware that he was jealous but Jan had recognized it right away. He had to laugh and he slipped one arm around Jan's shoulders. They rode the rest of the way to the restaurant with Jan's warm hand on his thigh and Bruce almost wished they could skip dinner and go straight home to bed.  
Over dinner, though, his thoughts circled back to that girl. Or any girl, for that matter. At their first meeting Jan had told him in no uncertain terms that he wasn't gay. What if his attraction to Bruce was just a temporary curiosity? Could some attractive girl one day come along and bring Jan back to his own natural sexual orientation? He looked across at the man he loved more than anything in the world. At that moment Jan looked up from his plate and caught Bruce's gaze.  
"What's wrong, love?" he asked softly.  
Bruce shook his head, but Jan persisted, laying down his fork and giving Bruce his full attention. "Don't shake your head, Bruce. You have a very expressive face, you know."  
Bruce smiled. "I was just being silly, worrying about nonsense. Pay me no mind."  
Jan didn't break his gaze. "You're still thinking about the girl at the school, aren't you?"  
Bruce sighed, then nodded, admitting it. "Not just her, but women in general. Other people in general. You don't realize how gorgeous you are. Anyone would want to be with you."  
"But they can't." Jan said softly. "Only you can. Promise me you'll stop thinking like that."  
Lost in those sky blue eyes, Bruce felt his worries dissolve and his heart lighten. "I'll try. " In spite of the fact they were in the middle of a crowded restaurant Bruce reached across and closed his hand over Jan's. "It isn't like me to worry about things like that. About flight conditions and meeting deadlines, yes. But about not being good enough....."  
Jan squeezed his hand firmly. "You're talking daft and I want you to stop it right now. Or else.....,"he smiled, "I may not do what I was just thinking about doing when we get home!"  
The tone of Jan's voice and the look in his eyes combined to sent a sharp jolt of desire straight to Bruce's loins. Under the table he felt the other man's knee nudge his own and he returned the pressure. "I think we should skip dessert and go home, what do you think?"  
"I think," Jan smiled slowly, "that I'll have my dessert when we get home. My favorite dessert!"  
It was all Bruce to do to obey the speed limits as he drove home.

Jan had been giving a lot of thought to auditioning for Gogmagog, the band Phil had told him was looking for a guitarist. Phil had given Jan his number when they'd met that night and Jan had called him a couple of times to ask for more information. Auditions were taking place that weekend and Jan broached the subject to Bruce the next morning over breakfast.  
"I'd been wondering about that," Bruce confessed. "You're auditioning, aren't you?"  
Jan nodded. "Yeah. I'll call Phil between classes today and set it up. I want to be sure you know it could mean I'll not be home until late if I get the job and we have a gig. Maybe not until the next day if it's a distance away."  
Bruce nodded, sipping his coffee. "I understand that. It's no different from when I have to take flights that require me to stay overnight waiting for a shipment." That had only happened once since Jan had moved in but it was always a possibility with Bruce's job. "And it isn't 'if' you get in the band, it's 'when'. They'll take you, they'd be crazy if they didn't."  
Jasn blushed but smiled, Bruce's complete support meant the world to him. "Thanks, Bruce." He said in his soft voice.

BREAK  
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The audition was held in a small storehouse the band used as a rehearsal hall and though Bruce offered to drive Jan, he felt it best he go alone. He didn't admit it aloud but he was a little nervous, it had been well over a year since he's been in a band and although he was acquainted with the other members of Gogmagog, Phil was the only one he knew well. He wanted to focus solely on his playing and anytime Bruce was near his thoughts would always stray. When he returned to the flat that evening and told Bruce he'd been accepted in the band, Bruce merely nodded.  
"Of course you were, there was never any doubt in my mind!" he gave his lover a resounding kiss of congratulations and over a late supper Jan filled him in.  
"We've got a gig next Friday night so I only have until then to learn their set. They're mostly covers, I know most of them but I haven't played some of them in years. That means not only will I have to practice with the band I'll have to practice some of them here, too. I'll keep the amp turned down."  
Bruce laughed "I'm not worried about that, the flat next door is vacant anyway and if anyone complains, fuck 'em! Practice all you need to. But what about your tutoring?"  
Jan made a wry face. "I'm dropping Janine - that's the girl who keeps coming on to me. She can play as well as she's ever going to and I'm getting tired of her flirting. That frees up that night, and I can reschedule the other four to all come at the same time. What I'm worried about are my studies."  
Bruce had been thinking about that too but hadn't wanted to bring it up. Jan's marks were excellent but there were examinations coming up at the end of the term.  
"If I can help you study...."  
Jan smiled. "Thanks. I'll remember that offer, but it's hard for me to concentrate of schoolwork when you're around!"  
"I'll keep my hands to myself!" Bruce protested, then grinned, "At least until we're finished and go to bed."  
"Yeah, but maybe I won't!" Jan teased back.  
"If you refuse to behave yourself, young man, I'll just sleep on the couch that night!"  
"Uh-huh! I would see that as a challenge to get you back in the bedroom where you belong!"  
"And just how would you go about doing that, if I may ask?"  
"Hmmm...." Jan got up and came around to where Bruce had scooted his chair away from the table, standing behind his chair and leaning over him. "I could try something like this...." he brushed his lips against the nape of Bruce's neck, working his fingers through the shaggy chestnut hair, then continued kissing a line around to Bruce's lips. Bruce was already lost but he tried to hold firm and managed pretty well until Jan moved around in front of him and knelt in front of his chair, letting his hands slide down Bruce's chest to dip his fingers beneath the top of his jeans.  
"You'll....," Bruce swallowed, licking his lips, "you'll have to do better than that!"  
Jan was smiling, his eyes already clouded with desire. "Then I suppose I could....," he unsnapped Bruce's jeans, kissing the stomach revealed between the shirt and the pants, then licking teasingly around Bruce's navel, "try something like this!" Jan pressed the palm of his hand against Bruce's already full erection, easing the zipper down as he did.  
Bruce gave up the pretense of playing hard to get, he couldn't hold back a moan as Jan mouthed him through his straining underwear. Jan had become positively wanton during the short time he and Bruce had been together, seemingly always ready for sex at a moments notice, and Bruce loved it. Never a particularly inhibited man, Bruce had now abandoned all restraint and took every opportunity to explore every inch of Jan's body, learning him like a book and finding new ways to pleasure him. Their sex drives seemed to be completely in sync.

Now that Jan was busy every evening except Sundays, Bruce went back to his old habit of staying late at work, unwilling to go home until he knew Jan would soon be home. It was one of these evenings when he witnessed Dave and Ade embracing as they left work. They didn't realize he was still there, they were heading to Dave's car when Ade suddenly caught Dave up in a steamy kiss. Bruce happened to glance out from the shadows of the hangar and couldn't help but smile, the genuine affection between the two men was obvious and he was happy for them. Nicko had long been happily married, and now that he himself had Jan it warmed his heart to know the other two men were in a relationship as well. The only dark cloud on the scene seemed to be Steve Harris. When Bruce had asked Nicko how things had gone at the children's birthday party he reported that he and his wife had invited Harris in for coffee when he came to pick up his daughters but the man had been so awkward and ill at ease he had only stayed a few minutes.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Bruce was unable to attend Jan's first gig with Gogmagog, his final flight that day had been delayed and by the time he'd finished the paperwork he didn't have time to get to the club for the show as it was in a neighboring town. Jan didn't return to the apartment until nearly three in the morning, exhausted, slightly drunk, and exhilarated from performing onstage again. He tried to be as quiet as possible but Bruce hadn't been sleeping soundly anyway, he had grown so used to Jan's warmth beside him in the bed it seemed he couldn't sleep well without him. He emerged from the bedroom to find Jan making a sandwich in the kitchen and crept up behind him to lock his arms around his slim waist, brushing a kiss across the nape of his neck.  
"Ah, you startled me," Jan gave a little squeal. "I didn't mean to wake you!"  
"You didn't!" Bruce turned his lover and gave him a thorough kiss. "Tell me about it, how did it go?"  
"It was fantastic! I never realized how much I missed this, Bruce! There's nothing like it." They sat at the kitchen table with Jan animatedly recounting the entire evening to Bruce. Bruce was thrilled to see Jan so happy, loving the sparkle in the gray-blue eyes, loving the excitement in his voice, and especially loving that Jan was still so would up that their lovemaking was particularly energetic that night. 

The band had another gig at the same venue the following night and Bruce was able to attend this time. Seeing Jan in his element, seeing his skill and how the music completely took him over, was a total turn on for Bruce, even more than his dancing at the club had been. After the show the band invited Bruce to tag along with them for a few drinks. Bruce learned that the members were all formerly in other bands much as Jan himself had been and they seemed to be decent blokes, they seemed to be aware of the nature of his relationship with Jan and had no problem with it.

The following weeks fell into a bit of a routine. Although Bruce was loathe to admit it, some of Steve Harris's promotional schemes seemed to be working and the company picked up three new contracts. One, however, required regular flights on Saturdays and rather than ask his pilots to work weekends, Bruce took these flights himself so he was unable to attend Jan's gigs as often as he would have liked. The band usually had at least one show each weekend and often two, building as they were on the reputations they had built individually with their former bands. It was an idyllic time for Bruce, waking next to Jan every morning, often to the sensation of long blonde hair brushing against his thighs as he was awakened with a morning blow job. Domesticity agreed with him more than he would ever have imagined but he knew it was only because it was with Jan. The soft spoken, gentle hearted man had brought Bruce a sense of completion to his life, something he had never known through his cold childhood and the detached devotion he gave to his flying. In spite of their different schedules, the two took advantage of every moment they could spare together, whether in torrid lovemaking or in simply relaxing together, talking and growing closer, falling more deeply in love.

They made a visit to Jan's family near Durham which went better than Bruce had anticipated. Jan's mother was as sweet-natured as Jan himself and while his father was more reserved, Bruce sensed no real negativity there. Gradually he was overcoming the sense of guilt and shame he had experienced after his ex-wife's reaction to his bisexuality and allowing himself to be happy. Every time he would glance across the car or the table to see Jan look back and smile at him his heart would swell.  
Bruce wasn't really sure exactly when he began to notice a slight change in Jan's manner. It was so subtle he shrugged it off as exhaustion on the part of the other man. After all, he was rehearsing with Gogmagog three nights a week and performing one or two nights as well as keeping up his studies and continuing his tutoring. There were a few times when he would come into the living room to find Jan simply holding his guitar but staring off into space, and somehow the sparkle in his eyes seemed to dull. As soon as he was with Bruce, Jan would brighten up and snuggle close to him and if anything he was more affectionate than ever, there was a sense of desperation to his passion that gradually became apparent to Bruce. It was especially noticeable on the nights when the band had a gig and this was what finally made an impression on Bruce. Rather than eagerly looking forward to the performances, Jan became almost reluctant to go, delaying leaving the apartment as long as possible and often initiating sex before leaving. For the first couple of weeks this happened, Bruce was simply happy to go along with it and enjoy it. Even the wet traces on Jan's cheeks weren't unusual enough to be terribly alarming; Jan often became very emotional as they were making love.  
Bruce was able to push it to the back of his mind for as long as possible. In every other respect, things were fantastic and he was happier than he had ever been. Business was going well and Steve Harris was keeping out of his way, seemingly ashamed of having let his vulnerability show in front of Bruce that one time. He avoided coming to the company any more than was absolutely necessary and Bruce was thankful for than, although Nicko showed unexpected insight by remarking to him in passing that Harris was actually a very lonely man and that he wished he knew of a way to get him to loosen up.  
"Why worry about him?" Bruce had jeered. "The man is richer than God, I don't feel a bit sorry for him."  
"Well, maybe you should, you know?" Nicko had raised an eyebrow. "After all, you weren't much different before you met this new man in your life. By the way, when do we get to meet this bloke, anyway?"  
Bruce wasn't too surprised that Nicko had surmised his situation even though he had never come right out and told anyone about Jan. But it hadn't occurred to him that the pilots or Dave may want to meet Jan. They were all friends, true, but they had never been the type to let their personal lives overlap their professional lives. He had met Jan's friends from the band, though. They occasionally stopped by the apartment to discuss things or go over possible new material, so it was only fitting that Jan meet his friends as well. He made a mental note to give some thought to a get-together of some kind.  
But then he began to catch Jan crying at other times. Staring blankly, lost in thought when Bruce assumed he was watching TV with him, gray eyes both dull yet bright with unshed tears. The beautiful smile sad and trembling, the lilt of laughter absent even as they joked or shared small talk. He asked what was wrong, asked again and again. Jan always managed to brush the question aside, to distract Bruce with a kiss or a touch. It was becoming a regular thing for Jan to come home from gigs on the weekends drunk now. Not just tipsy, but downright drunk. Jan only drank beer, and it would take quite a bit for him to become that drunk on only beer. It was frustrating, but he couldn't persuade Jan to admit that something was wrong. After nearly a month of this, Bruce began to doubt himself. Was Jan tiring of him, did he want out of their relationship? 

Oh God! What if that was it? What if Jan was regretting getting involved with him? What if he had felt pressured into it, what if he had only moved in because he couldn't afford to get by on his own after quitting the club? Driving home on a Friday night, Bruce was consumed with these thoughts. He couldn't bear to think of losing Jan, of going back to the cold, empty life that he had thought of as 'normal' before meeting the blonde. He had to do something, he had to find out, but how? Jan wouldn't talk to him, he wouldn't even admit anything was wrong.  
Jan had already left when Bruce arrived home, which was somewhat unusual considering how reluctant he had been to go to the gigs recently. Bruce was just putting away the clean dishes when a knock sounded at the door. Opening the door, he was surprised to find Phil, Gogmagog's vocalist.  
"Hey, Bruce. I thought I'd give Jan a ride to the gig, is he ready to go?"  
"Um, he already left. I figured you guys must have already picked him up." He gestured for Phil to come in.  
"No, the other guys are out in the van. It's a late gig tonight, we don't go on until ten."  
This was strange indeed. From not wanting to go to the gig at all, Jan had now left early. A sudden thought occurred to Bruce "Hey, could I ride along to the gig with you guys?'  
Phil shrugged. "Sure."  
Bruce was tied in knots, letting the band's conversation flow around him as he wrestled with his thoughts. For the first time he seriously considered the possibility that Jan had been seeing someone behind his back. Could it be the girl he had been tutoring? No, school was on summer break, the girl had most likely left the area until autumn. Phil had to nudge Bruce three times to get his attention.  
"Hey, you all right there, mate?"  
"Oh, uh, yeah. Ummm.....have you noticed if Jan has been acting a little....odd lately?"  
A shadow passed Phil's eyes and it was a moment before he replied. Then instead of answering directly, he simply asked, "You care about him a lot, don't you?"  
Bruce nodded without hesitation, his voice low. "He means everything to me."  
Phil's expression softened and he lowered his voice so the others couldn't hear. "I've known Jan for years, Bruce. Something is wrong, I just don't know what. It might have something to do with that James guy."  
"James? Who is James?" Bruce had never heard Jan mention anyone named James.  
"Damned if I know who he is." Phil shrugged. "He started showing up at the gigs several weeks ago, hanging around after Jan. At first Jan avoided him but one day I saw them talking and now they leave the gigs together all the time. If you ask me, the guys a creep."  
"Are they....?" Bruce couldn't think of a way to ask, but Phil knew what he was trying to ask.  
"I really don't know, Bruce, but I will say this. I've never seen Jan so miserable as when he leaves with that guy."

That didn't make any sense to Bruce. Jan was hanging around with this James guy but miserable doing it? They had arrived at the gig by then, a popular club at the edge of the city, and Bruce helped the band unload out of appreciation for letting him tag along. Jan was nowhere to be seen but it was still over an hour until it was time to go on, and Bruce gathered the guys together quickly.  
"Listen, guys, I don't want Jan to know I'm here, okay? I.....I'm hoping to surprise him."  
Phil had an idea that Bruce was hoping to see for himself what Jan was up to and he had a momentary regret that he had said anything, but his gut instinct told him that Bruce had Jan's best interests at heart. The other band members merely accepted Bruce's explanation and finished setting up as Bruce located an out-of-the-way seat at the darkened far end of the bar, seating himself with a beer to wait. Jan showed up a few minutes later, looking listless and talking with the band members in monosyllables as he adjusted his own amps. He only seemed to come to life when the set began, visibly relaxing as the music took possession of him. As always, Bruce couldn't tear his eyes from him, completely enthralled by his talent and his performance. The band played a forty minute set then took a fifteen minute break and it was then that Bruce noticed a vaguely familiar man sitting at a table near the stage. The lighting was poor and he couldn't put his finger on where he had seen the man before, but even though Jan stayed close to his band members, the man went over to him and ran his fingers lightly through Jan's long, wavy hair.  
Bruce saw red. He could scarcely stop himself from charging over there, especially as he saw Jan flinch away from the man's touch. Everything about Jan's body language showed tension but when the man tugged at Jan's sleeve, Jan obediently stood and followed him to join him at his table. Bruce watched with interest, the knowledge that he should recognize this man nagging at the back of his mind. Jan's relief was obvious when the break was over and the band took the stage again, he threw himself completely into the rest of the performance but this time Bruce divided his attention between Jan and the mysterious man who followed Jan's every move just as Bruce had been doing. Jan generally took the right side of the stage but that was where the man sat so Jan switched with the bassist, Neil, and took left stage. As the show came to an end it was obvious to Bruce, who knew Jan so well, that his spirits had fallen and after hurriedly packing up his equipment he attempted to leave the pub with them, carrying the gear. Bruce watched with avid interest as the man James stood with an almost overdone air of resignation and followed the band out the back door to the alley where they had parked the van.  
Bruce quickly paid his tab and exited the front door, entering the alley quietly. The other band members were loading the equipment but James had caught up with Jan and was even now leading him away down the alley, fortunately in Bruce's direction. Bruce pressed himself into the shadows and waited until he could catch snatches of the conversation.  
"...got to get home, I have an exam to study for." Jan was saying. That wasn't true, Bruce knew, as Jan's summer classes had only begun and there were no exams scheduled this early in the term.  
"All right, we'll make it quick, then. If you didn't always get sloshed first it would be quicker every time."  
Jan merely hung his head, letting James lead him blindly until they came to a darkened area away from the lit back windows, then he suddenly swung Jan around by the arm and pushed him roughly to his knees. He was unfastening his pants when a fist exploded in his face. Bruce had moved without conscious thought, he was upon them before he was even aware he had moved, and he was fury incarnate. James fell back at the first blow but Bruce didn't relent, in fact he increased the attack, pounding the man's face until blood flowed freely from his nose and mouth.  
Jan still knelt on the bricks, stunned. Bruce had appeared so suddenly and unexpectedly that he couldn't comprehend what was happening. When he realized it was Bruce, he stood and grabbed his lover's arm, trying to pull him off the other man. By this time Bruce realized who James was, he was the man who had accosted Jan twice outside Rod's. James was now semi-conscious, half lying against the wall and Bruce drew back his booted foot for a vicious kick.  
"Bruce, no!"  
Bruce turned on Jan, still furious. "No?! You're telling me not to beat the fuck out of this asshole? Why, Jan? Why shouldn't I kill him, tell me that?" He suddenly felt drained, defeated, all the fight leaving him. "Do you want to be with him? Would.....would you rather be with him than with me?"  
"No!" Jan shouted. "God, no, of course not! But you don't understand!"  
"What's there to understand? You were going to...., to," Bruce ran his hand, moist with James blood, over his face, his emotions so torn he couldn't even speak. He found he was crying, though he hadn't realized it.  
"Bruce, please! Let me explain." Jan implored, taking Bruce by the arm and steering him out of the alley to the broad steps of a nearby bank, away from the crowded sidewalk. They left the barely conscious James lying there without a backward glance. The other members of Gogmagog wisely finished loading their gear and left, knowing that the two had a great deal to work out.  
Bruce let himself be sat down but he was still like a coiled spring, actually shaking with pent up excitement and unresolved furor. He sat, not looking at Jan, waiting to hear what the other man had to say. But when Jan spoke, his words were completely unexpected.  
"I had to, Bruce. I had to, because of how much I love you."  
Bruce spun, incredulous. "What the fuck does that mean?! You were going to suck some guy off in an alley because you love me? That's insane!"  
Jan was crying silently, his voice almost inaudible. "I know how that sounds, but you don't know who that man is! He's James Kendall. Does that name sound familiar?" It did, but Bruce wasn't thinking clearly enough to place it. Jan went on. "He is the top attorney in town, Bruce. His word carries a great deal of influence. He told me.....he said he would destroy you if I didn't do what he asked! He said he would see to it that you lost your business, and he could do it! He's done it before, the other dancers at Rod's told me he had tried it with some of them but none of them had anything of value to lose. You do, you've poured your life into your business, and he knew I would do anything to keep you from losing it! Bruce, I didn't have a choice!" Jan broke down then, sobs wracking his body. "I know I've lost you, I know you can't forgive me. But you'll get over it, and at least you still have your company!"  
Bruce sat stunned, Jan's words gradually sinking in. He recognized the name James Kendall now, the man had an unscrupulous reputation. There had been unspecified rumors for years that he was mysteriously acquiring businesses that had suddenly gone insolvent through blackmail and threats..  
Jan sat with his arms clutching his knees to his chest, his head bowed and his shoulders shaking though he was trying to be quiet. There was no doubt or hesitation in Bruce's mind. He gently laid his hand on Jan's slim shoulder. He didn't know what to say, he couldn't form words. Jan didn't move, didn't acknowledge his touch at all, so he moved closer and slipped both arms around him.  
"You should have told me." It was all he could think to say. "Why didn't you just tell me?"  
Jan shook his head slightly, still not raising his head. "What would you have done? I know what you would have done." He raised his head then, his face a mask of misery. "You would have beat the fuck out of him and he would have taken everything you've worked so hard for!"  
Bruce opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again. Jan was right and they both knew it.  
"And now that's going to happen anyway! I'm sorry, Bruce, I'm so sorry!" Jan lowered his head again, hias fingers clutched in his hair so tightly his knuckles were white.  
"It doesn't matter." Bruce heard himself say, and he knew it was the truth. "None of that matters, I don't care. I only care about you! Don't ever keep anything from me again, Jan. Please, promise me you'll never keep anything from me again!"  
Jan was silent, he'd raised his head but was looking straight ahead at the dark buildings across the street. "I was going to go home tonight. Home to Durham. I was at the train station." His voice was so low Bruce had to strain to hear him. "But I owed it to the guys, I couldn't leave them without a guitarist."  
"You were going to leave me." Bruce stated flatly.  
"It would have been best."  
"No, Goddamn it, it wouldn't!" Bruce's voice raised again and some people passing on the sidewalk glanced up at where they sat in the darkness. He made an effort to lower it. "Okay, so maybe this Kendall asshole will cause trouble. We'll deal with that, I don't know how but I'm not worried about that now. But I can't lose you, Jan! I can't!"  
There was a note of desperate pleading in Bruce's voice that made Jan finally turn to look at him. "You....you still want me, even though......?"  
"Of course I want you! I'll always want you!" Bruce grasped both of Jan's arms so tightly it must have hurt but neither seemed to care. "I love you, you idiot!"  
Jan collapsed then, falling into Bruce's arms and Bruce cradled him close though he was crying as well. He was so attuned to Jan that he understood completely how cornered Jan had felt, how Kendall had manipulated him into feeling trapped and without any choice but to capitulate. Neither of them knew how long they sat there. The sidewalks below them became more deserted and a light mist began to fall but still they sat there, wrapped together, unwilling to let go.  
Finally Bruce pulled out his phone and called a taxi. They hadn't spoken for quite some time but in the cab, Bruce had to ask. "How many times did it happen, Jan?"  
Jan's voice was dull. "At first it was just....just with my hands, you know. I was stupid enough to think he would settle for that. Then right after we got back from my parents....."  
He didn't have to finish. That had been three weeks before. He squeezed Jan's hand. "It's okay," he whispered, unwilling to let the driver overhear. "It's over. You are mine. Only mine."  
Once they arrived home Bruce put Jan to bed. Jan was on autopilot, so mentally and emotionally drained he was beyond exhaustion. He fell asleep as soon as Bruce pulled the covers up to his neck, but Bruce sat for a long time just watching him. He knew they were in for a world of trouble from Kendall, but all he could think of now was how much he loved this man at his side. Even in sleep, Jan's face showed the strain of the past few weeks and Bruce cursed himself for not having done something sooner. He had known something was wrong but he had pushed it aside in his mind, unwilling to deal with it. Never again, he promised himself. Jan would be his first priority from this moment on. Ahead of his business, ahead of himself, ahead of everything. None of it mattered without Jan. Eventually he lay down next to Jan, holding him lightly so as not to wake him but unwilling to break physical contact even as he was falling asleep.

In the morning Bruce awakened first and leaned to kiss Jan's cheek. The gray eyes fluttered open and Jan reached up to touch Bruce's face.  
"Morning, love." Bruce whispered. "You don't have to get up, I just wanted to let you know I have to go to the airfield for a couple of hours. Will you be okay?"  
"I'll be all right. I know you have a delivery on Saturday. Go do what you have to do, don't worry about me."  
"Promise me you'll be here when get back?" Bruce couldn't stop himself from asking.  
"I'll be here as long as you want me here, Bruce. I promise."  
Bruce smiled. "Then you're going to be here for a very long time!"

As soon as he pulled away from the curb, Bruce went into action. There was a great deal to be done. First he called Adrian, offering him double the usual rate to take the Saturday flight in his place. Ade had been puzzled but something in Bruce's voice convinced him something very important had come up and he agreed to do it. Then Bruce took a deep breath and dialed a number he had never had to use before. The private number of Steve Harris.  
"Harris? It's Bruce Dickinson. I need to meet with you urgently, it's very important."  
After a moment of stunned silence, the other man replied. "Do you know where I live?"  
Bruce did. He had never been there but the location of Harris's estate just outside of the city was fairly well known.  
"I'll be home all day. Just buzz at the gate and I'll let you in." Harris hung up.  
Bruce didn't know what to expect, a mansion or a manor house of some kind perhaps, but Steve Harris's home was a large old farmhouse set in open fields at the end of a long lane. The gate opened silently when he pressed the buzzer and he drove up, parking in front of the double front door next to Harris's familiar Mercedes. Harris himself opened the door and silently gestured for him to enter.  
Bruce looked around curiously. The house was large but furnished simply and comfortable with children's toys strewn about here and there. Girls laughter sounded from some room in the depths of the house as Bruce followed Harris into a room lined by floor to ceiling bookshelves. Harris was dressed simply, wearing a tee shirt and cargo shorts, his long hair hanging loose down his back. He seated himself behind a highly polished antique desk and offered an overstuffed chair to Bruce.  
"All right, then. What's so urgent?"  
Bruce wasn't sure where to begin, he was even questioning now whether it had been wise to come. "I....I need help."  
Harris raised an eyebrow. "Financial help? The company is doing well."  
Bruce shook his head. "No, no......personal help. I've acquired a very powerful enemy."  
Interest sparked in Steve Harris's brown eyes. "Tell me what's happening."  
Taking a deep breath and steeling himself against his own pride, Bruce plunged forward." Do you know an attorney named James Kendall?"  
Harris nodded once but a twist of his lips showed that not only was he familiar with the name, Kendall was no friend of his. "Go on."  
"A....a friend of mine," Then Bruce decided fuck it, he was going to be completely honest. "My boyfriend, who I love very much, has been being blackmailed by Kendall. I only learned of it last night and I beat the shit out of Kendall. He's going to come after me, and you are the only man I know that may be able to help."  
Harris leaned back, gesturing for Bruce to continue. "Tell me the whole story, Bruce."  
So Bruce did, starting from when he met Jan up until the events of the night before. When he had finished, Harris sat in silence, his face thoughtful. Bruce fidgeted, waiting. It had been incredibly difficult for him to come to Steve Harris, to abandon his dignity and bare his soul to a man he had no reason to expect sympathy from, but then he thought of Jan. Jan had sacrificed even more, had let himself be used and degraded and had been willing to give up everything, even his future with Bruce, in hopes of saving Bruce's company. He couldn't let that all have been in vain.  
Finally, Harris spoke. "I hate that son of a bitch Kendall. He has never bothered me so I've left him alone, but I never knew he was doing this kind of sleazy shit. I've heard a great deal of dirt about him and it won't take much to prove any of it. I'll make some phone calls right away. He won't bother you or your friend....your boyfriend again, I promise you."  
Bruce was flabbergasted. He had been grasping at straws by coming to Harris, it was the only course of action he could think to take but he hadn't really expected Harris to help him. After all, why should he? They were only business associates, after all. "Thank you!" he managed to say.  
To his surprise, Harris smiled. "Don't look so surprised! I'm not the cold hearted monster people seem to think I am."  
"We don't think that!" Bruce protested without thinking, then he felt he had to elaborate. "It's just that you're, well, not very....ummm, outgoing." he finished lamely.  
To his relief, Harris laughed outright, standing and coming from behind the desk. He didn't respond to Bruce's words, instead saying he would call in some favors immediately to ensure James Kendall would make no move against Bruce or against Jan. "The managers of a few of my clubs have had complaints about him before, but they were intimidated because Kendall acts like he holds a lot of influence. Believe me, he doesn't."  
Bruce followed Harris back through the house, glancing into the rooms they passed. One room seemed to be filled with electronic equipment and musical instruments but they passed by too quickly for him to get more than a glimpse. Halfway through the living room three little girls, all seemingly under the age of 12, suddenly descended upon them in a flurry of giggles and squeals. The youngest, who couldn't been more than six years old, latched onto Harris's legs.  
"Daddy, Daddy, Kerry says I can't ride her bike! Tell her to let me, Daddy! Please?"  
Harris laughed, his face softening into an indulgent smile. "It's her bike, Faye. You have your own!"  
The little girl suddenly noticed Bruce and went shy, hiding half behind her Dad and putting her fingers in her mouth, her eyes wide. A slightly older girl came over and took her hand to lead her away, but she planted her feet and faced Bruce.  
"Hello. Are you a friend of my Daddy's?"  
"Hush, now, don't bother him." The other girl tugged on her arm, but Bruce stepped forward.  
"Hello, sweetheart. Yes, I'm a friend of your father's. My name is Bruce." He held out his hand to the little girl, who hesitantly reached out and shook it briefly. For the first time, the oldest girl stepped forward and took charge. "Come on. I'll let you ride my bike." She took each of the other girls by the hand and led them back down the hallway they had emerged from.  
"They're beautiful girls." Bruce remarked, and was amazed by the transformation in Harris's expression. "They're my life." he said softly. There was a mix of pride and a kind of loneliness in his voice.  
"They made quite an impression on Nicko's little girls. He's asked me a few times if I thought you would be willing to bring them over to play again."  
Harris looked up in some surprise as he opened the front door to escort Bruce out. "Really? Maybe I should, I think they would like that."  
Bruce left it at that, thanked Harris again, and turned to leave but suddenly turned back. "You know, you're welcome out at the hangar even when there isn't business to discuss. Drop in for a visit sometime." With a wave, Bruce climbed into his car and left.

When Bruce arrived home he could hear the strains of acoustic music before reaching the door. He entered quietly, knowing Jan well enough to know he was seeking solace for his troubled mind in music. He sat on the couch, his fingers moving gracefully over the guitar strings, his eyes closed. The music was something Bruce didn't recognize.  
When the song was finished Jan looked up to see Bruce sitting in the chair opposite the coffee table. "That was beautiful, but it sounded sad."  
Jan didn't reply, laying the guitar aside, and Bruce came around to sit next to him.  
"Don't look so worried, I don't think Kendall will trouble us anymore."  
Jan's eyes widened in alarm. "What did you do!?"  
Bruce had to laugh a bit. "I didn't arrange to have him killed or anything like that, if that's what you're thinking. I just went to the one person I know who's more powerful than Kendall and I think he'll be able to put the fear of God in him. Umm....I had to tell him what had been happening, though, I'm afraid."  
Jan shook his head dismissively. "That doesn't matter, the important thing is getting that man out of our lives. Thanks, Bruce. You have every reason to never want to see me again, yet you're helping me."  
"The thing most I'm upset about is that you didn't come to me when that asshole first approached you, but I can understand why. Jan," Bruce reached up and brushed Jan's hair back from his face, stroking his thumb along his jaw line, "we can handle anything if we talk to one another and are completely open with each other. I feel like I've been keeping you out too, but that's going to stop. I want you to be in every part of my life. I want you to come to the airfield more often, if you'd like to. Get to know the guys there."  
Jan smiled, his eyes dark with emotion. "That means a lot to me," he admitted, and Bruce couldn't restrain himself any longer, reaching out and taking the blonde in his arms. He brushed his lips softly against Jan's, feeling the softness of the other's lips mold to his own perfectly. He felt Jan's long fingers thread through his hair and he cupped the blonde's head, bringing him closer, feeling an overwhelming tenderness as Jan's lips traveled from his mouth to his cheek and neck. He kissed a torturously slow line of kisses down Jan's neck, behind his ear, brushing the soft hair aside as Jan tilted his head back, his lips parted slightly. They leaned back against the back of the couch, Bruce's arms tightening around Jan's slim waist, pulling him tighter, feeling the little tremor as his kisses dipped lower to the base of Jan's throat, dipping his tongue teasingly into the hollow of this throat.  
"Let's go into the bedroom," he suggested breathlessly, and Jan nodded. They fell onto the mattress but Bruce felt impelled to go slowly, he wanted to savour Jan's every touch, every breath, every sensation. At the back of his consciousness he was certain Jan needed to be reminded of his value after how he had been used as no more than a piece of meat by James Kendall and Bruce wanted to show him exactly how special he was to him. He gently pulled Jan's shirt off, climbing astride him and covering his chest with kisses, circling each nipple with his tongue until he had Jan squirming beneath him. Jan tugged at the hem of his shirt so Bruce pulled it off, loving the feel of Jan's fingers through his chest hair, brushing against his own nipples as Jan's mouth fastened to his neck, biting and sucking then licking the skin there.  
"You taste so good," Jan breathed, "I love how you taste..."  
Bruce's only reply was a moan and he moved down Jan's smooth, taut stomach to unfasten his jeans. He didn't want to move too fast, he wanted to prolong this. Recently the mood of their lovemaking had been different, something Bruce now understood to be a result of what Jan had been going through. It had been less playful, more tense and almost frantic, but now they could go back to the lazy, indulgent all day lovemaking that had marked their first few weeks together. Before unzipping Jan's jeans he moved back up the blonde's body to kiss his lips again. Long, deep kisses, letting their tongues twine together, learning every nuance of each other's mouths.  
Jan's hands were on Bruce's back, traveling up and down his spine, lowering to cup his arse, squeezing him and pulling him against him.  
"Bruce, I want you....." Jan murmured around their kisses, "I need you.....,"  
Bruce couldn't hold back any longer, he lowered Jan's zipper, fingers trembling in their urgency, peeling the tight jeans down his lover's hips until they were kicked off even as his own jeans were being opened. Jan's hand crept inside, closing around Bruce's length and he moaned at the sensation. Once they were both completely nude the physical sensation of skin against skin was excruciating, the heat and hardness of their arousal as they ground together almost enough to bring them to climax from that alone. Kissing his way down Jan's body again, Bruce deliberately teased him with licks and kisses before he took Jan completely into his mouth, tasting the essence of the other man's excitement on his tongue as he cupped his firm buttocks.  
Jan moved against him, trying not to thrust so hard he would choke Bruce, and Bruce released him only to dip his tongue lower, circling the balls one by one then taking them each into his mouth. Jan loved this, he knew, and he stroked the blonde to the very edge of orgasm before relenting.  
Jan let out a low whine, his hands in Bruce's hair, and as Bruce raised up again he felt Jan slip the familiar tube of lubricant into his hand.  
"Now, Bruce," Jan whispered, "don't make me wait any longer."  
Bruce wasn't small and as always he was careful to ensure Jan was ready, but when they came together and he was looking down into those stormy gray eyes he had to force himself to slow down, to make it last as long as possible. Jan crossed his ankles around Bruce's thighs, meeting every thrust perfectly, and then there was no way to hold back the tide. Jan always maintained eye contact through the act, at least until orgasm took him away, and though Bruce had found this disconcerting at first, it was incredibly sensual. He was also quite vocal with murmurs, moans, gasps and cries but afterwards they lay together quietly, still caught up in the phenomenal passion they had just experienced. They spent the remainder of the day in bed, alternately loving and talking, reconnecting after and becoming even closer.

On Sunday the two were in the living room, Jan idly strumming on his acoustic as Bruce reclined on the couch reading a book on World War Two planes, when a knock sounded at the door. They froze, looking at one another. No one ever came to the flat except utility readers and the postman. Bruce marked his place in the book and answered the door to find Steve Harris on the doorstep. He wouldn't have been more surprised if it had been the Pope.  
"Steve!" In his surprise he called the man by his Christian name but neither seemed to notice. "Come in!"  
Harris entered a bit awkwardly and Jan laid his guitar aside, standing.  
"Steve Harris, this is Janick." Bruce felt no other introduction was necessary. Harris briefly shook the hand Jan offered.  
"I wanted to let you both know that you need have no further worries about James Kendall. I left word that he wasn't to be allowed in any of my clubs, and he showed up at one of the midtown places last night. When he was refused access he very stupidly tried to fight the bouncer and the police were called. They found a large amount of cocaine, ecstasy, and other drugs on him. He isn't going to weasel his way out of this one, he's going to be put away for a very long time."  
"Oh, thank God." Jan breathed, and Bruce echoed that. Harris nodded.  
"I wanted to let you know personally." He turned to leave, then caught sight of the line of electric guitars Jan kept against one wall of the room. "Those are yours?" He shot Jan a quick look.  
Jan nodded, and Harris walked over for a better look. "Is that a '62 Jazzmaster?"  
"Yeah. I've had the pickups modified, though." Jan told him.  
Harris reached for it, "May I?"  
"Of course." Jan handed him the guitar. Harris looked it over and strummed it experimentally.  
"I used to have one a lot like this before I switched to playing bass. It's in excellent condition."  
"Here, try it." Jan plugged the guitar in and switched on an amp. Harris perched on the edge of the couch and played a short piece flawlessly. Bruce had all but forgotten that Jan mentioned he had once had his own band.  
Jan was telling him about how he had the pickups stacked and which strings he preferred and Bruce watched in some amusement as the two unlikely men connected. Steve Harris became animated when talking about music and accepted the beer Bruce offered him with a genuine smile. He was familiar in a general way with White Spirit, Jan's old band, and when he heard about Gogmagog he expressed considerable interest, recognizing the names of the other musicians from their former bands. He and Jan didn't exclude Bruce from their conversation but Bruce preferred to sit back and listen, he loved to hear how knowledgeable Jan was and watched as Steve Harris seemed to almost visibly thaw as they talked.  
"Why did you stop playing professionally?" he asked Steve out of curiosity.  
Harris gave a half shrug. "After I bought my first club there just wasn't time for both. Then Lauren was born and I bought more clubs and it just got pushed aside I suppose. I still play at home to relax, I've built a small studio at the house just to mess around in."  
Harris stayed at the flat for over an hour, at the end he and Jan jammed a little on a couple of songs and after he left Jan remarked that he seemed to be a nice guy.  
"I suppose he is, if I look past the fact he tries to get too involved in my company."  
"I think maybe he's just trying to find some kind of purpose, you know?" Jan sat back down on the couch and accepted the beer Bruce handed him. "I've heard he was considered one of the best bassists in the country before he quit."  
Bruce smiled. It was so like Jan to see the best in everyone. 

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BREAK  
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The following weeks rekindled the joy Bruce and Jan had shared before the shadow of James Kendall had fallen over their lives. The relief Jan felt with the knowledge that that horrible man could never hurt either of them again was almost physical and he showed it with the unbridled enthusiasm he threw into everything he did. Bruce was realizing now how he had allowed himself to become more dull and humdrum than he had been aware but now with Jan in his life his sense of fun had returned. He found himself more light hearted than he had felt in years, laughing and enjoying even the most ordinary mundane things simply because of the man at his side. Jan was a free spirited person and, as he had warned Bruce, he sometimes did simply wander off for walks at any hour of the day or night. Bruce was learning not to worry about this, it was simply his way of relaxing and collecting his thoughts. He always returned from these excursions with a sense of peace and Bruce had to learn to trust than Jan was careful and could take care of himself, in spite of how protective Bruce felt toward him.

Bruce's business was picking up more contracts and both pilots were often busy flying several flights each day. Bruce found that he could rely on Dave more and more to take care of things at the office which freed him up to take some of the flights himself, lightening the burden on Adrian and Nicko and also giving him some much needed flight time. Steve Harris was keeping his input to a minimum and rarely visited the airfield, phoning occasionally to check in but offering fewer of the suggestions Bruce had found so intrusive. Bruce wasn't sure what was behind this change but he was happy about it. He felt more comfortable with Harris now but still preferred to run his business without the other man hovering over him.

Jan's work with Gogmagog didn't earn as much as he had been making as dancer but he was happier, which was more important to the both of them. The band had no high aspirations, all the members had day jobs and played for fun and a few extra quid, but it still occasionally took Jan away overnight for out of town gigs. Jan was uncomfortable about this at first but Bruce managed to assure him it wasn't a problem, especially since Jan was no longer returning from gigs dead drunk. That had understandably been his way of coping with Kendall's attentions and now he was back to enjoying only a few beers a night. The first night Jan was away made it painfully clear to Bruce that his life was no longer complete without Jan at his side and he was acutely conscious of the emptiness on the other side of the bed, sleeping poorly, though of course he couldn't mention this to Jan.

On the Monday after Jan's first away gig Bruce showed up to work somewhat late, Jan having kept him up through the night showing that he had missed him as well, to find Steve Harris was paying them the first visit in weeks. He found the man sitting on a workbench in the hangar chatting casually with Nicko and Dave as Ade was running the safety check on his plane and Harris greeted him with a smile.  
"Dickinson! I think I may have found a new contract source for you, if you're interested. Let's go in your office." He stood but called over to Nicko. "I'll have your girls picked up at ten Saturday, all right?"  
"Right, mate, and thanks again. They'll love Blackpool, we haven't gone in ages."  
Once in Bruce's office, Harris didn't even try to take the chair behind the desk as he once would have, perching on the edge of the desk instead.  
"So what's this source, then? Mind you, we're pretty fully booked right now."  
"It's only every other week, but it's to Scotland. To Aberdeen, delivering supplies to the port for the offsea oil rigs. It pays well but I told them I needed to consult with you, I know you're pretty full up now and what's more it would mean staying overnight there and flying back the next morning."  
The two men sat and went over the details but in the end Bruce decided he could manage it if he took the Aberdeen flights himself. The money was too good to turn down and it could lead to more Scottish contracts, eventually possibly expanding to the purchase of a fourth plane if it became feasible. Expanding the business was a dream of Bruce's, one he knew was still in the future but this could be the first step toward that goal. An undeniable appeal was also that this would give Bruce a chance to do more flying himself, something he dearly missed and also needed to keep his licenses current. It was only a 90 minute flight one-way but as it was always going to be at the same time late on a Friday afternoon Harris's source had told him of a small company in Aberdeen needing materials moved on Saturday, which was why an overnight stay was necessary. That evening over a pint at their favorite pub Bruce filled Jan in on the details.  
"The best part is that the contractor is paying for my overnight stay so it will all be profit after expenses." Then he sighed. "And the downside is that it will mean still more nights we have to spend apart. It's silly, I know. Couples go through nights apart all the time, but that doesn't mean I have to like it."  
"I get that. I don't like the overnight gigs we've been having either but it can't be helped. " Under the table Jan nudged his knee against Bruce's. "It just means we have to make up for lost time when we get home."  
Bruce returned the pressure to Jan's leg. "We don't need an excuse for that! You know, Harris acted a little different today. More like a regular guy, if you know what I mean. Nicko told me he asked if he could take his girls along on a trip to the amusement park this weekend. It's been a few years since his divorce, maybe he's finally ready to loosen up a bit."  
"Could be. He needs to get back into playing music, if you ask me. He's very good."  
"Not as good as you, mate!"  
Jan laughed. "You're only flattering me to get into my pants!"  
Bruce grinned. "No, but if it works......."  
It was dark when they left the pub and as they walked the several blocks back to their flat they held hands. The feel of Jan's long fingers entwined with his was somehow arousing for Bruce and as he listened to Jan chat about some antics his band members had gotten up to Bruce's mind kept drifting to things he wanted to do to Jan until he pressed the blonde against the wall the minute they were safely inside their door, kissing him hungrily.  
"Wow!" Jan gasped as they broke apart. "Where did that come from?"  
"From you being an incredible tease even when you aren't trying to be!"  
Jan laughed as they went the rest of the way inside and sat on the couch. "I think it's just that you're a horny bastard. But don't stop, I like you that way!"  
"And I wonder if you were such a tart when you dated women."  
"To be honest I was kind of shy around women. I never felt I could be myself around them, they always seemed to say one thing and mean another."  
"Some of them do, I suppose. You're certainly not shy with me!"  
Jan laughed and swung himself onto Bruce's lap, straddling him and kissing him. "I don't need to be!" He moved his hips against Bruce and was rewarded by being flipped onto his back on the couch, his shirt pulled over his head and the sensation of Bruce's nips and licks down his jaw and neck. Jan gave back as good as he got, his hands busy along Bruce's ribs and down his spine to dip his fingers beneath the waist of Bruce's jeans as far as the tight fabric would allow. Frustrated, Bruce hurriedly tore off his jeans to find Jan had done the same. The blonde almost never wore briefs and today was no exception, he was completely nude and vulnerable beneath Bruce, filled with need and zealous in showing it. The two coupled several times that night, not at all unusual for them, and once again in the morning in the shower. 

The first flight Bruce took to Aberdeen went flawlessly. The contractor put him up in an adequate hotel and the return flight was an easy one, the cargo drop off right on his route. Jan had an overnight gig in Bristol that same night, the furthest from home the band had yet been booked, and Bruce returned to the flat to find he had already returned and had made them a light supper. Neither man was an exceptional cook but they were not particular and could always grab a bite at the pub. As the next day was Sunday, Bruce had promised to accompany Jan on one of his country walks. He had joined him several times and even though he was indifferent about the actual hiking aspect of it he loved to spend every moment he could with Jan. Fall term at the University was to start soon and Jan would return to a full class load and a few new tutoring students so they were both anxious to enjoy all the time they possibly could together.

Bruce was thankful that he was strong and in good physical condition as he matched the stride of Jan's long legs. They walked the open fields this time, it was a warm but cloudy day and the area was sparsely populated so Jan stopped at a rise in the land and they had their lunch on a low stone stile overlooking miles of open pastures and grasslands. Jan sat munching his snacks gazing around but Bruce could only look at him, still taken aback by his attractiveness even after months together. Jan looked over and caught him.  
"Why are you staring at me, do I have grass in my hair?"  
Bruce laughed. "No, but you look at your idea of the beauty around us and I'll look at mine."  
Jan laughed. "I may be many things, but beautiful isn't one of them. You're just blind."  
"Blinded by love. "  
"Or lust!" Jan grinned.  
Bruce shook his head, "No. Well, that's in there too!" He laughed, tackling Jan and pulling him to the ground beside him for a kiss.  
The two wrestled, laughing, but the feeling of Jan's lithe body wriggling beneath him soon changed Bruce's mood from playful to amorous. He crushed the other man beneath him, capturing his mouth with a searing kiss.  
"So that's the way this is going!" Jan murmured against him. "You know, I don't think we've ever fooled around outdoors, have we?"  
Bruce thought. "We've made out a few times."  
"Ummhmm, but...." Jan's hand was creeping lower on Bruce's stomach, sliding across the front of his jeans, across the prominent bulge there, "but I think we can do better than that!"  
He was kissing Bruce's neck now, unbuttoning the denim shirt Bruce was wearing one button at a time. Bruce twined his fingers in the silky hair, urging Jan's mouth lower until he felt his jeans being unclasped and the zipper lowered slowly. The cool air on his hot flesh was stimulating, especially when it was immediately followed by the warmth of Jan's mouth engulfing him slowly, one bit at a time until he was completely surrounded by the moist heat, feeling every slight movement of Jan's tongue against him. It was all he could do to hold it together.  
"Jan, if you keep that up....."  
Jan immediately released him with a teasing smile, raising himself to kiss him. "Don't worry, I want some of this too!"  
Bruce's hands were already stripping Jan of his clothes, smoothing his palms over the soft, pale flesh of his belly to dip into the sparse hair below, finding Jan rigid and throbbing with desire.  
"I don't have anything with me...."Bruce began  
"We don't need anything, I just want you!"  
Jan swung a slender leg over Bruce, sitting back against his hardness and moving against him, teasing him. Looking up at Jan against the sky with his head thrown back, eyes closed, Bruce was overcome with pure lust and grasped Jan's hips, raising him to position him and let slowly, steadily sink into him. The coupling was wild, fierce, with Bruce rolling the blonde over to mount him from above so he could feel the long legs wrap around him, drawing him closer, building them rapidly to an unrestrained orgasm that caused them to both scream out loud.  
They lay together, catching their breath, clasped in one another's arms and watching a hawk circle high in the sky above them.  
"We're going to have to do this more often." Bruce finally managed to say, and Jan giggled.

Jan's fall classes began the following week and he announced to Bruce he switched his major from Humanities to music. Bruce thought it was a wonderful idea, he knew that music was where Jan's heart was and even though the job prospects may be fewer with a music degree, Jan already had enough credits in Humanities to easily land a job in teaching if it ever came to that. As for himself, the workload at the company was taxing but between himself and Dave they managed to keep things running smoothly and the books were balancing after five years of being in the red. Harris kept his distance but according to Nicko, the friendships between their daughters was growing strong and to his surprise he learned that Steve Harris had transferred his girls from the exclusive school they had been attending to the one Nicko's girls attended.  
"That's interesting." Bruce commented when Nicko told him. "Any idea why he did that?"  
Nicko shrugged. "I s'pose he just wants them to grow up as regular kids. My girls seem to know so much more about the real world than his, and you know he thinks the world of those girls. Plus," Nicko winked, "there's Emma."  
Bruce raised an eyebrow. "Emma?"  
Nicko nudged Bruce in the ribs. "The school counselor. Becky and I went with Steve to the school to show him and the girls around and he ended up talking to Emma for an hour. I think I saw sparks!"  
Bruce laughed. "No kidding! Steve Harris, smitten! Good! That man needs to get laid worse than anyone I've ever met!"  
Nicko burst into laughter. "Not saying that's gonna happen, Bruce, just that they were talking!"

Jan had a local gig that Saturday and if it weren't for his Aberdeen flight, Bruce would have gone to the show. Gogmagog were good, they had a small but loyal following, but Jan was all Bruce could focus on when he watched their performances. Jan had a way of getting into his own zone as he played much as he had when dancing, and the music took him over completely. It wasn't unusual for him to get blatantly sexual onstage, clamping his Strat between his legs and thrusting his hips into it until Bruce's mouth was dry with desire and his loins were on fire. Missing the show was bad enough but the weather reports for Scotland were sketchy. The usual flight path led over the Cairngorms which were shrouded with fog and he would have to re-route further north to miss it, prolonging the flight. He called the flat to let Jan know he would call when he got to his hotel but evidently he had already left for the gig so, not in the best of moods, he did his pre-flight checks after the cargo was loaded and set off.

 

When Jan returned to the flat after 2:00 A.M. he found Bruce's message on the machine saying he would call when he arrived in Aberdeen, but no call had come in since then. That was curious, Bruce never failed to phone when he said he would, but Jan had no idea which hotel Bruce would be staying in so he couldn't call him. Completely knackered, Jan took a quick shower and fell into bed, conscious of the empty space on Bruce's side of the mattress but so exhausted he fell asleep almost immediately.  
He wasn't sure how much time had passed when the insistent ringing of the phone gradually penetrated his consciousness. Running a hand across his eyes he squinted at the bedside clock. It was after 5:00 A.M., but surely this was Bruce calling. He snatched up the receiver.  
"Hey, I was getting worried....." But it wasn't Bruce, it was Dave Murray.  
"Jan, have you heard anything from Bruce?"  
Jan felt an icy grip around his heart. "No, not since he left a message yesterday afternoon. Why? What's going on, Dave?"  
Something must have come through in his voice and he heard Dave sigh. "It's probably nothing to worry about, it could be any number of things."  
"Dave, what are you not telling me?"  
He heard the other man hesitate and when he spoke his voice was solemn. "He never arrived at Aberdeen last night. No distress calls, nothing to indicate any problem, but.....he never arrived."  
Jan had been standing at the bedside but sank to the mattress, stunned. "Well aren't they looking for him?!" He heard the frantic note in his own voice but didn't care.  
Dave tried to calm him as much as he could. "Of course they are, they're checking all the airfields anywhere along the flight path, checking all the radar readouts. I'm here at the hangar with Ade, we're placing some calls of our own. We'll find him, Jan."  
"I'm coming in."  
"You don't have to, there's really nothing more we can do...."  
"Damn it, I'm coming!" He slammed down the phone, threw on some clothes, and phoned a taxi. It probably only took fifteen minutes for the taxi to arrive but as Jan stood at the curb, shivering in his denim jacket, pacing, it felt like hours. He couldn't think clearly, still half asleep and unable to get his head around the fact that Bruce was missing. Actually missing. The cab ride to the airfield was interminable and the normal hustle of the early morning comings and goings of small planes seemed almost an affront to the situation. How could everything be happening as normal when Bruce was missing?!  
Jan found Dave in Bruce's office on the phone while Adrian sat at a computer going over the previous night's weather readouts.  
They both looked up as Jan entered.  
"No news." Dave covered the receiver of the phone and greeted him before he could ask. "But no bad news, either. Sit down, Jan, have some coffee. You look like you could use some."  
Jan obeyed mechanically, pouring himself some coffee but was unable to sit down, pacing the room instead.  
"Can you tell me what you know as of now?"  
Dave was still on the phone so Adrian spun his chair and replied. "Everything seemed normal as far as Edinburgh. Bruce radioed in at the airport there at just after six, as he normally would, and updated his flight plan. He had originally planned to detour west toward Inverness to avoid an area of low clouds and fog but for some reason he switched back to his normal flight, which leads over the Cairngorms to approach Aberdeen from the west. We're not sure why, but he may have believed the fog had cleared."  
"Had it cleared?"  
Ade paused then shook his head. "No. A front was coming in from the southwest that would have cleared it but the front stalled and the fog and mist hung on all night."  
"Well, what are they doing up there? Don't they have people out searching?" Jan sounded angry and frustrated but it was understandable, particularly because he knew practically nothing about these matters.  
"They have radar scouring the area for emergency signals. If the plane ran into distress a signal is automatically triggered but so far they haven't detected any. As long as the weather persists they can't send actual search flights out."  
"God DAMN it!" Jan burst out, and the other men nodded in sympathy. Dave was off the phone now and brought Jan over to where he had charts spread across the desk, explaining to him how the weather patterns would affect the flight path but all Jan noticed was the wide area of absolute nothingness on the map in the area he indicated. Jan had never been to that area of the highlands but it was obviously very isolated.  
"What is there? What's the terrain like? Aren't there any houses or roads?" He saw no roads indicated on the map.  
"Um, no, not really. It's mostly sheep pastures and moorland. There are a few scattered farms but no real towns to speak of, and the area between Braemar and Newtonmore has no roads at all."  
Dave didn't have to say any more, it was in all their minds. Anything could have happened and it could be days before they found out. Dave went back on the phone, calling anyone he could think of in Scotland who might be of any help but until the weather cleared the bottom line was that no real search could be made. Adrian grew frustrated with the previous night's weather reports, turning his computer off with a snap and running his hand over his eyes tiredly. Almost an hour after Jan arrived, Nicko came in. They had been unable to get ahold of him the night before, he had been with his family at his in-laws and they had no way of reaching him, but evidently he had arrived home and received the message they had left. It was a repeat of the scene when Jan had arrived, questions with no answers and suggestions that had already been acted upon. Nicko impulsively wanted to take a plane and fly up to conduct a search himself but they had to convince him it would be useless in the fog, he wouldn't be able to see a thing.  
"Leave the search to the professionals, mate," Ade told him. "They know exactly what they're doing and they'll be out as soon as they possibly can."  
"What the hell are we supposed to do in the meantime?" He cursed, sinking down next to Jan on the couch. "Just sit here on our fucking hands?"  
"Not much else we can do." Dave shook his head.  
Nicko put a hand on Jan's shoulder. "How are you doing, mate?"  
Jan shrugged. "Just feeling so helpless." He didn't feel like talking, he had been sitting there absently sipping coffee and staring into space. On the wall opposite him was a photo of Bruce with the first plane he'd bought for the company and every detail was etched into Jan's mind. The pride on Bruce's face, his eager, reckless smile, those bright brown eyes and unkempt chestnut hair. In his heart, Jan felt that he had been taking his relationship with Bruce for granted. Loving it, loving the excitement of all the new experiences knowing Bruce had opened for him, loving the effortless closeness they shared, but not fully appreciating Bruce as a man, an individual. They had been a couple for over four months now and there was still so much he didn't know. Bruce had always been reluctant to talk about his past, about his family and about boarding school, and Jan had respected that but now he wished he knew more about all the things that had molded Bruce into the unique individual that he was.

The phone rang shrilly, jarring him from his thoughts, and Dave snatched it up. From the expression on his face, though, Jan knew it wasn't any news. The conversation was brief and when he hung up, Dave quirked an eyebrow at Ade.  
"That was Steve Harris. I wonder how he heard about this?"  
"Oh, um, I phoned him when I heard." Nicko confessed. "Maybe I shouldn't have, but I thought he would want to know."  
"No, it's okay, I guess I'm a little surprised he called."  
"Steve's a decent bloke," Nicko said. "It isn't easy to get inside that shell he's built around himself but I think he actually considers us his friends. He hasn't got many."  
After a few more minutes, Jan was feeling claustrophobic and felt the need to move about. He stood and wandered out through the hangar, going outside and sinking to is haunches against the curved outside of the building. A few weeds poked through the concrete and he plucked one, shredding it, lost in thought. He knew it was a foolish thought, but he kept going back to the idea that Bruce may never be found. Or that he may be injured or dead. Every fiber of his being fought against that thought, but it was there in the back of his mind and he couldn't rid himself of it. He had lived nearly thirty years never knowing or even imagining he could be capable of feeling for anyone the way he felt about Bruce and the idea of losing him now was inconceivable. He refused to accept it. He stood abruptly, kicking a loose chunk of concrete in helpless frustration and started pacing from one edge of the building to the other, back and forth. The noise and bustle of the rest of the airfield was all around him but he was oblivious to it.  
"Bruce, God Dammit, you had better be all right!" he muttered to himself, and when a breeze sprung up he felt that his face was wet with tears he hadn't been aware he was shedding. "You're too stubborn and too tough not to be all right!"  
He wasn't sure how long he was out there. The sun had come up and he felt the heat of it on his back as he paced but he didn't look up. He heard the sound of the door open behind him but didn't acknowledge it until he heard Dave call his name.  
"Jan?" He turned, and Dave went on. "They found him!"  
"Is he okay? Where is he? What happened?" The questions tumbled out of Jan as he rushed over to Dave and followed him back in to the office.  
"He's okay. A little banged up, but okay. He was found wandering along a remote road a half hour ago. The plane had a complete electrical failure. No radio, no beacon, nothing. He managed to crash land in a pasture but he was miles from anywhere and just started walking."  
Adrian and Nicko were listening as well, evidently Dave had gone out to get Jan before filling any of them in on the details. Dave continued. "They didn't give many details, only that a passing car found him walking in the mist. He must have been walking all night. They took him in to the hospital in Aberdeen to check him over and if he's all right they'll put him on the next flight back here."  
"Oh, thank fuck!" Jan gasped, and then for some reason he burst into tears. The emotional overload was just too much, and he couldn't even feel embarrassed for crying in front of these men. He was vaguely aware that Ade and Dave shared a quick hug of relief, and he felt Nicko's hand on his shoulder in a show of support and understanding.

 

It was two more hours until Bruce was cleared at the hospital and was on a commuter plane back home. Several calls to the hospital told them that Bruce had a slight concussion and two cracked ribs but other than some bruises he was fine. He had been chilled to the bone and close to hypothermia but thankfully he had been found in time. The road he was on was so seldom travelled it was little short of a miracle that a farmer had been driving out to check on some sheep at that time. When it was finally reported that Bruce was en route for home, the others respectfully left it to Jan to go to the main terminal to meet his plane. Jan appreciated that. The 90 minute flight felt like it took forever but when the small jet landed Jan was practically jumping up and down until he spotted Bruce's familiar figure on the airstairs. He wore unfamiliar clothes, his own flight suit no doubt having been soaked by the weather, but other than a darkening bruise over his left eye he looked well. Tired, but well. Jan watched, hovering by the door, as Bruce made his way stiffly to the building but as soon as he was inside he looked up, looking straight at Jan. And he broke into a smile.  
Jan couldn't hold still any longer, he rushed forward, barely restraining himself from clasping Bruce tightly but conscious of the other man's cracked ribs. Bruce clasped his arms tightly around Jan however, an almost desperate clutch, his head resting on Jan's shoulder.  
"Thank God you're okay." is all Jan managed to whisper. He felt Bruce nod slightly, then he stepped back enough to look up into Jan's eyes. Bruce's own eyes were moist.  
"I kept thinking of you back here, worrying."  
Jan nodded. "It's okay now, you're here. Don't you ever, EVER, scare me like this again!"  
Bruce had to chuckle. "I'm not planning to!"  
The two men walked back to Bruce's hangar where the other three men were hovering by the door, each of them welcoming Bruce back in their own way, but Bruce kept hold of Jan's hand tightly. There were mountains of paperwork to do, insurance claims to file, accident reports to turn in, but when Bruce mentioned it Dave strictly forbade him to think about it right then.  
"I'll get that stuff started, we can finish it when you're up to it. You get your ass home and get some rest."  
Bruce wouldn't agree to leave though until he gave his account of the previous evenings events. He was feeling he had made a very poor decision in his returning to the original flight path and Jan knew that to talk it out would help him ease his mind about it.  
Ensconced on the couch in the office, Bruce began his tale.  
"I should have known better," He shook his head. "I've been a licensed pilot for eight years, I really should have known. The forecast said it would be clear, but I know better than to trust forecasts. Still, it wouldn't have been a problem if the instruments hadn't failed. "  
"But I don't get it!" Nicko interjected. "We're always on top of maintenance, there's no reason at all for a failure!"  
"I don't get it, either." Bruce admitted. "The first indication I had that anything was wrong was when the fuel started cutting out. I tried to switch to the auxiliary tank but it wouldn't switch, so I went to put in a distress call and there was no radio. Everything failed, absolutely everything."  
Jan tightened his grip on Bruce's fingers, trying to imagine how Bruce must have felt at that moment.  
"The fucking fog was so thick I couldn't fly by sight, I had no choice but to land. There was no level ground and it was dusk, so with the fog I was practically blind. I landed in a gully, scaring the hell out of a flock of sheep, and I hit some rocks so that's how I banged my head. I have no idea how I cracked the ribs, it must have been when I was thrown against the door. Even the GPS was out, so I started walking. At least I had a torch."  
"That's enough for now, mate." Dave reached out and patted Bruce's knee. "Get home, and don't you dare come in tomorrow. I'll get the preliminary paperwork done."  
Bruce opened his mouth to argue but Jan jumped in "Don't even start. Come on." He tugged Bruce to his feet and retrieved the car keys from the hook by the door, calling back over his shoulder that they would call in the morning.  
Bruce was quiet as Jan drove them home but when Jan glanced over he saw that the other man was awake, looking preoccupied.  
"Stop second guessing yourself, love." he told him gently. "It was equipment failure, pure and simple. I'm just glad..." he had to stop and swallow, "glad you're all right."  
Bruce looked over at him then, and smiled. Once home, Jan bustled Bruce off to bed, completely ignoring his protests. Finally giving in, Bruce laid down but asked Jan to lay with him.  
"Was going to." Jan smiled, crawling, still clothed, next to his lover and circling his arms gently around him. "You're always trying to take care of me, but now it's my turn to take care of you. And you're going to let me!"  
Bruce smiled and reached over to touch Jan's hair. "Yes, sir." After a few minutes of lying quietly together, Bruce began to speak softly. "You were all I was thinking about when I was walking around out there, you know."  
"Stop thinking about it, stop talking about it. Just rest."  
"No, no.....I have to say something." He propped himself up one elbow, looking into Jan's eyes. "I want something more with you, Jan."  
"Something more?" Jan wasn't sure what Bruce meant.  
Bruce nodded. "I mean, I want a commitment. Something permanent. I don't know what they call it. Civil union, domestic partnership, whatever. I want to be with you for the rest of my life."  
Jan felt tears prick at his eyes. "Bruce, you've had a bad time, you're exhausted, you had a concussion. We don't have to talk about this now."  
"Yes, we do. I want to. I want to know. Will you be with me forever, Jan?"  
"Yes." Jan's voice almost broke. "I was doing a lot of thinking, too. I can't live without you. I don't want to live without you. You....you're my life, Bruce."  
Bruce's eyes closed and he pulled Jan tighter to his chest. "You're mine, too. I love you so much."

 

 

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Two months after the plane crash, Bruce and Jan joined hands and exchanged self-written words of love, loyalty, and fealty in the garden of Steve Harris's estate. Gogmagog played, with Steve joining them on bass, and a soft-spoken dark haired lady named Emma played hostess along with Nicko's wife Rebecca. Five young girls in long white lace dresses spread flower petals and Adrian, Dave, and Nicko tried to bluster their way through any display of emotion as Bruce and Janick exchanged a soft kiss at the conclusion of the ceremony. Life was beautiful.

 

**************************THE END*************************************


End file.
